Want to Play A Game

I am so confused on what the hell just happened what a arrogant asshole I don’t understand these men who think there just so damn irreplaceable. He might have been sexy as hell but his personality is a fucking dud. I am trying to regain myself while I am on my way home. I don’t want to tell anybody about what happened I don’t want them to think I’m a failure.

I just can’t believe that he made me wait there that long and had no interest into training me or even hiring me. I wonder why I am really not sure what the hell I did wrong. I want to ask him but I am not I am just going to let it go. Maybe I will just pretend like it never happened.

I really didn’t think it would be this hard to find another job. I need to find one soon I am running out of money and I don’t want to ask my mom for anything. Instead of going home I will walk and stop at businesses and apply In person this time maybe I will be able to find something. I get the bus driver to stop as I am gettingoff the bus I am confidentI  just hope it last.

So I began walking  looking for businesses that are hiring this way I can talk to them in person so I will be able to tell if they want to give me a job or if there just not interested hoping I at least get one interview. I walk in the direction to my house.

As I am walking I am getting nervous I don’t know if I can do this just walk in and ask them to hire me. I want to work for business I don’t want to work as a waitress. Not sure what I should do if I should just get a job for now and continue to look. I need to just stop and swallow my pride I need a job to pay my bills.

I see a coffee shop up ahead I swallow hard and I walk in hoping their hiring. I see the young cashier probably still in high school approaching the register “hello how can I help you today?”

“Yes I will get a iced Carmel latte please.”

Good job Jessica you came in for a job not to buy coffee that went very well. I need to reproach this not really sure how to do it now.

“Excuse me here’s your iced Carmel latte have a great day.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

Yeah I decide maybe this is not the place for me I walk out and drink my latte which is delicious of course. As I am walking I am passing business and business not wanting any of them. Before I know it I realise I am home I walked to my apartment building disgusted. Thankful that I got home before dark I am just so tired.

As I am walking up the stairs I am hoping Matt doesn’t answer for once I don’t want to talk about my day. Especially because my day wasn’t all that great I don’t want reminded about it. I try to be quiet and sneak past his door hoping he is not watching for me. When I get to my door i hurry up and open it and shut it I put my back against it thankfully getting in before I am noticed.

I decide that right now would be a great time for a bubble bath I look around and grab a couple of candles I sit them around the tub. I go and turn the water on wanting to just relax. Once the water is hot once it warms up I dump some of the bubble bath in the tub. I then go andvlight my candles and get in the tub as my body is relaxing The tub becomes full I shut the water off with my foot. Realising this is just what I needed to relax and think of my next move. As the bubbles are starting to disappear in the water is becoming cold I unplug it let the water go out then get a shower.

When I am done I get out of the shower and dry myself I hear my phone but I ignore it not wanting to talk to anyone right now. I know that I shouldn’t be like this but I am just tired and I just wanted something good to happen. I will get over all of this it just takes time. For now though I just want to be alone I know that is not too much to ask for.

I put on some comfy clothes and I lay on my bed I get under my big fluffy covers. Wanting to just fall asleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. My phone goes off again I really should check it but I am too lazy to get up. I truly don’t want bothered right now I just want to be alone. As I am laying there I start to finally fall asleep.