Chapter 21 On deck
It was past midnight. “How long will this ship sail?” I was amazed and went to the open part of the upper floor. My lungs immediately filled with fresh, clean air, which I had missed so much in the past few hours, and my head began to spin. I looked at the stars scattered across the night sky, and the wind gently ruffled my hair, as if comforting me… We sailed under the Bolsheokhtinsky High Bridge.
And I was able to think again.
It seemed to me that I had changed and that inner core which had grown in me couldn’t be broken, but what happened to me just now almost did…
Even though I had the first jet orgasm of my life, a squirt… I felt violated, humiliated, very, very dirty. I understood that I was being used and abandoned. And so it was, everyone didn’t care at all about my condition, including Edward, whom I adored.
Especially with my assumption that he knew everything beforehand. How else could his indifference to me and his knowledge of a spare outfit be explained? I was not a prostitute, but a colleague!
And I also realized with a bit of annoyance that there was a lot of stranger’s sperm inside me. “By the way, I should buy emergency contraceptive pills.” I thought nonchalantly. “Now is not the time to fly with someone who is unclear.”
I winced at the pain that still lingered in my body. Did Edward say something about trying not to hurt me? Well, I had to admit that his attempt had failed miserably.
A waiter passed by with a tray full of sandwiches. I felt a new bout of vomiting, so I quickly turned around and looked at the waves, swaying regularly in the moonlight.
“How are you?” Edward came behind me and put his hand on my waist. Was his tone of voice… understanding? It was not clear to me.
I hissed through my teeth, not looking at him:
“You knew.”
Edward was confused:
“Is that a question?”
“A statement.”
My boss sighed and began patiently, as if he was talking to a child who doesn’t understand the obvious:
“Elvira. After all, I have said more than once that I love unrestricted sex. Including such sex. I heard that there are sometimes one or more prostitutes at such events… on duty, so to speak. But then I was faithful only to Sofia and did not participate in such entertainments…”
“Entertainment? Prostitutes?” I seemed to choke on these words. It became very difficult to breathe. “So who do you take me for?”
“Elvira, I highly recommend that you take a deep breath, exhale and calm down. Take it easy. We wanted to have fun, you wanted to get promoted. We all won, right?”
“But you took advantage of me!”
Edward exhaled annoyed:
“Baby, stop being a victim. We’ve all done ourselves a favor. Plus, you ended up with this… squirt. Don’t lie to me saying you didn’t like it.”
I was silent.Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
“As for me,” he continued, “at first I didn’t even think about proposing this to Makar. He called me after the final lecture, in front of the Ferris wheel. He told me that he knew. That you were my subordinate. And this really annoyed him. He began to hint that he could contribute to the fact that our office was closed. Naturally, I couldn’t allow this. I offered him a compromise and he agreed. What does not suit you?”
“Your attitude towards me.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Edward was surprised.
I turned to him. There was a genuine lack of understanding in his face. I replied:
“Tell me… Would you let them treat your wife like that?”
His face turned to stone. I didn’t like the answer at all:
“She is my wife. Naturally, I wouldn’t allow it. And you are in a slightly different position. You are a lover exploring the world of sex with me.”
“I mean… Didn’t you feel sorry for me?”
“Of course not. I, like everyone else, just wanted to fuck you.”
I was silent again. A knot of burning resentment rose to my throat.
“Elvira, I told you… Don’t expect any serious feelings from me. Just sex. No moral concepts. How long do I need to repeat this for you to understand?”
“But what about your words that I have become a lot for you?” I asked.
“We’re going to a group photo shoot.” Someone yelled and we turned around. The photographer held the camera and guided people to the center of the platform. We ended up right in the center.
We were all gathered and I already thought that I would not wait for an answer. The photographer raised the camera.
“Never believe what I say about you when I’m drunk.” Edward whispered, and these words hurt horribly.
The photographer clicked the camera.
Edward didn’t remove his hand from my waist.
After these words, I tried not to talk to him. We returned to the hotel in silence, we went to separate beds.
I woke up in the middle of the night due to the fact that Edward was talking quietly to his wife. Fragments of his phrases reached me:
“I had to think about many things… Sorry for not answering you… Many things to do… Yes, everything is fine… Sofia, I value you… I miss you and I love you.”
I clenched my teeth in anger. This means that nothing has changed much. So this trip is nothing more than a professional event. So I lost.”
The next day, I suddenly got a call.
Looking at the unknown number on the screen, at first I didn’t dare to answer. But I still responded.
“Elvira, hi. This is Makar. Will there be time for you to come to my office? We need to talk.”
I squinted to look at my watch. There were still about six hours before the train left. We agreed to meet and I began to dress.
Edward didn’t even ask where I was going.