Chapter 72 Communication
-Blake-
“What are you guys doing?”
I looked away from Xavier to turn to Dominic who was leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of us with slight confusion. Her look would usually look cute to me, calm me down, but Xavier had confused my senses, my emotions on a roller coaster that I almost couldn’t control.
“Nothing, Demon, we were just having a man-to-man chat,” Xavier answered casually. His voice was so normal as if what just happened here didn’t shake my core.
I watched as he walked passed me with a hidden smirk and then to her which made me tense almost every muscle in my body. “Oh, am I disturbing you?”
“Not at all.”
I kept a glaring eye on them when they leaned closer together and began mumbling about something I couldn’t make out but ended in Xavier laughing out loud before playfully flicking her forehead.
I turned my back on them quickly, trying to control myself as best as I could. This was what he was talking about, he’s testing me, I can feel him internally laughing at me struggling and I hated it but I didn’t want to doubt her. I didn’t want to hurt her. So I turned back and told myself that I had to ignore it. Ignore my anger.
At some point, Xavier had left and I didn’t realise Dominic was still here until she walked around and in front of me. “Hey,” she said softly, lifting my head with one hand and holding my hand with the one of hers. Her eyes looked worried but after everything, I felt uncomfortable so when she asked, “Are you okay?” I unintentionally pulled away from her touch as quickly as I could but on realising how that looked I moved to rub the back of my neck instead, putting on a smile and replied,
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go back to the others.” I then walked out and back to the main room where they were now talking about Nick’s plan with his gang and such but I couldn’t focus on any of it at all. Dominic came in a little after and sat next to me as we had been before. I sighed and looked at the side of her face while she looked forward, seemingly feeling nothing while I was conflicted. I reached and put an arm around her waist. I had to talk to her, find out the truth, until then, I was going to show everyone, including Xavier, that she was mine.
-Dominic-
I watched as Blake walked out of my training room before looking down at my hand which now felt… empty. The way he pulled away from me as if it hurt him, the fake smile he forced himself to put on, the rush to get away from me. All that ran through my mind was, what did Xavier tell him?
I looked away from my hand and now up at my ceiling, a new habit of mine that I did unconsciously. I was looking for something, but just like every other time, there was nothing to be found.
So, I decided with a heavy chest that I would go back into the room. I needed to talk to him, communication was the only way but until then, I had to be strong.
When I walked back into the room he didn’t turn to look at me but I sat next to him anyway. I looked at Xavier who seemed to have a certain look on his face, a look that he usually puts on when he’s thinking of a plan. I sigh, his plans were never easy.
What got my attention again though was when Blake snaked his arm around my waist, it was a small gesture but, it relaxed me, made me smile a little that not all was lost just yet.
—
The day had passed, Nick and I went out driving for a bit, getting to catch up on a few things. He told me that his gang had a protocol for if he were to ever get caught which they had been following these past ten years. Each section of the gang wasn’t to talk to one another, trades would be paused until he was able to continue. He was shit when it came to physically fighting and foresight, even I could see that, but when it came to planning and instructing, leading, he wasn’t too bad. Now all he had to do was call a member from each segment and get everything running again. That is, if he wanted to.
“I’m not sure,” he started, hand on the wheel. I let him drive my car in order to relax him but I, on the other hand, was now having trust issues. This was my first car and I almost loved it as much as my motorbike, I’d let hell loose if anything happened to it. Either way, I let him continue.
“Being a gang leader, creating a family with this huge group of people from all over the world has been… amazing but… The danger I put everyone through, the times I’ve nearly lost people, the times I have lost people, ruining their… everything! I just- I don’t know if I can do that anymore.”
I stayed silent for a bit. Debating on something mentally but deciding against it before putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “No matter what you choose to do, I will back you and support you.”
Support. I think support is one of the most important things for people. One of the things that everyone needs from at least one person. To have someone there having their back. He was my brother, if there was anyone who should provide that support for him, it had to be me.
When we got back we started playing card games and watching movies with the rest of the guys until it was around 11 pm and a lot of the guys were getting sleepy.
Blake and I hadn’t talked much but it didn’t seem as tense as it was before, he still stuck close to me and when most of the guys went home he staid behind, helping me clean up before heading to my room with me.
“Before, you and Xavier were talking to each other about something, what was it?” He asked me out of the blue. I tried remembering what he was talking about and then it came to me when I caught him and Xavier in my training room I had warned Xavier about calling me, ‘Demon,’ but he wasn’t a fan of listening to me, arguing he can call me whatever he wants to.
“Nothing important,” I brushed off, because it really wasn’t, not anymore. I watched as he slumped down on my bed with a discomforted face. “Is something bothering you?” I asked, not letting this go on any further, I wanted to fix this. I wanted, rather, needed him back.
I think he read my facial expression, how serious I was because he held his face in his hands before sighing out loud. He was going to begin to say something when-
Ring.
My phone started ringing. I looked down at the caller ID. Damn it. I thought I would have more time. I looked back at Blake who seemed defeated. “Pick it up,” he instructed but after looking back into his eyes, I declined.
“No,” I said, walking up to him, kneeling down and holding his hands in mine which he let me do this time. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“But you-”
“I said no.” He looked a bit taken back, my tone must have been harsh. I calmed down a little and smiled at him. “Your happiness means a lot more to me than that phone call.” After I said that he gave me a gentle smile to which I returned.
“I’m afraid I’m not good enough for you. That there are people who are better, stronger, that you can choose over me.” My chest squeezed at him saying that. Squeezing painfully. He had no idea- I clenched my jaw, shutting my eyes tight for a second before opening them again. “Xavier for example-”
“Cut your bullshit,” I say, stopping him from continuing. It was too painful to hear. He stared back at me, waiting for me to continue.
“I waited ten years.” I began, ” Ten years, four in jail, the other six were possibly the hardest years of my life. The things I went through. And all I wanted was for you to be here when I got home to help me, hold me, tell me you cared. You are the only person I trust with my feelings. You are more than enough. You always will be. Always.”Content © provided by NôvelDrama.Org.
I meant it with everything I had, I tried to convey it as best as I could but talking about feelings were always one of my weaknesses. I didn’t know how to comfort as well as I wanted to. I just hoped he understood.
“Xavier told me you guys had sex, did you?” he then told me and my breathing slowed slightly.
“So that’s what he told you,” I sighed and got up. What the fuck was Xavier trying to stir up this time? I knew he was planning some shit.
“I need to go to work, Blake. I promise you I’ll fix this, okay?” I told him, getting up, kissing his forehead before picking up my bag.
“Streetfighters never sleep, huh?” I froze for a second, heartbeat quickening instantly. But I remembered not to make it noticeable so I turned my face slightly to him, smiling as best as I could.
“Yeah, that’s right,” I answered him before wishing him goodnight and heading to work.
-Blake-
She didn’t answer my question.