Chapter 31
Chapter 31
Root The air hangs heavy with the acrid scent of vomit.
I'm hunched over by the side, retching violently as my body rebels against the weight of guilt and fear that clings to my insides. Each convulsion sends waves of nausea through me, a physical manifestation of the turmoil within.
Ettie’s voice, a distant murmur, penetrates the fog of my anguish. “Alina, you need to stop. It’s done.”
Her words, meant as reassurance, fall on deaf ears. | can’t shake the images that replay in my mind-the brutality, the blood, the makeshift grave. The forest seems to close in around me, its ancient trees bearing silent witness to the chaos that has unfolded in their domain.
As | retch, Ettie continues to stand near the makeshift grave, her gaze fixed on the rocky ground. “We did what we had to do, Alina.”
Her words cut through the fog, a stark reminder of the unforgiving reality that governs the Mating Run. Survival leaves no room for hesitation or remorse.
| wipe my mouth, trembling, and attempt to rise.
The forest floor feels unsteady beneath me, each step a struggle against the lingering shadows of guilt. Ettie turns toward me, her eyes holding a mixture of concern and frustration.
“Alina-”
“Ettie... We... We can’t afford to stay here. We shouldn’t. The cameras are watching. We need to go somewhere they can’t see
us.. | stumble towards Ettie, my legs weak beneath me.
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Ettie’s gaze softens
and we made ours.”
“Alina, survival comes with a price. Elijah made his choice, “We?” | mutter to myself, my entire body shaking. “What do you mean we?” Anger pulses through me
mel that still linger in my chest.
like a wildfire, fueled by the charred remains of guilt
The echoes of Elijah’s demise reverberate in my mind, a haunting melody that refuses to be silenced. Yet, as | turn my gaze toward Ettie, a different kind of fury
takes root within me.
“Ettie, it was all you! You did that! It’s not something we both decided on! Why did you kill him?”
The words burst forth, sharp and accusing. My voice, usually soft, carries the weight of betrayal.
Ettie meets my gaze, her eyes defiant. “Alina, he touched you. He was going to hurt you. What choice did | have?”
The forest, with its silent trees and hidden cameras, bears witness to our confrontation. The air crackles with tension, charged with the unspoken truth that now stands between us.
“You had a choice, Ettie! You didn’t have to kill him like that!” My fists clench at my sides, the anger boiling within me. “We could have found another way, stopped him without resorting to... to this.”
Ettie’s jaw tightens, her response sharp. “Alina, this is the Mating Run. There are no rules, no mercy. You think he would have hesitated to kill you? To claim you?”
The truth in her words stings, a bitter reminder of the unforgiving nature of our reality. Yet, | can’t suppress the surge of resentment that courses through me. “That doesn’t give you the right to play judge, jury, and executioner. You made that decision for both of us, and | can’t just pretend like | had a say in it.”
Ettie’s eyes narrow, a storm brewing within them. “You think | enjoyed doing
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that? You think it was easy for me? He had to die, Alina. | won't let anyone touch you.”
My voice rises, an unchecked torrent of frustration. “But you didn’t let me decide, Ettie! You took that choice away from me!” Ettie’s expression hardens, a wall of resistance against the accusations that hang in the air.
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“| did what needed to be done. If you can’t understand that, then maybe you're
not cut out for this.”
Her words, a cutting dismissal, ignite the embers of my anger. “Don’t act like you know what's best for me, Ettie. You didn’t save me. You just replaced one danger with another.”
Ettie steps closer, her eyes ablaze. “I won’t let anyone harm you, Alina. If that means making tough decisions, then so be it.”
“You think you're so different but you're a monster just like they are.” | say the words, instantly regretting it the moment they leave my lips.
Ettie’s retort is swift and biting. “You think you can survive this on your own? You're naive, Alina. In this forest, trust is a luxury we can't afford.”
The harsh reality of her words hangs in the air. Trust, once a fragile bond between us, now shatters like glass. | clench my teeth, determined not to let Ettie’s decisions define my path.
“I'll survive, Ettie. But | won’t compromise who | am to do i
Ettle scoffs, a bitter laugh that reverberates through the cave. “Who you are? In this forest, that’s a liability. You'll either adapt or become another casualty.”
The weight of her judgment stings, but | refuse to let it break me. “I won't lose myself in this madness. | won’t become some... Monster.”
Ettie’s eyes narrow, her tone cold. “Sometimes, Alina, you have to become a 0
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monster to defeat one.”
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The truth in her words, though chilling, ignites a defiant spark within me. “I won't let fear and violence define me. I'll find another way, even if it means doing it
on my own.”
The forest, indifferent to our conflict, remains a silent spectator to our unraveling camaraderie. Ettie’s gaze, a mixture of frustration and concern, searches my face.
“Alina, you can’t survive this alone. You need someone you can trust.”
The bitter taste of resentment lingers on my tongue. “Trust is earned, Ettie. And right now, | don’t know if | can trust you.” The sound of a stifled sob reaches my ears, and | stiffen immediately, my eyes
on Ettie.
Her shoulders tremble with the weight of emotions, a vulnerability | hadn’t anticipated. In that moment, my heart softens, a realization dawning upon me — we're both victims of this unforgiving game.
“Ettie,” | murmur, my voice hesitant, as if navigating a fragile bridge. “I’m sorry. |... | didn’t mean those words. | just... I’m scared, Ettie. For both of us.”
She looks up, her eyes stained with tears, and for a moment, the distance between us collapses.
“You said you don’t trust me,” Ettie whispers, her voice fragile like delicate glass on the verge of shattering. “How can we go on if you don’t trust me?”
The truth in her words stings, a sobering reminder of the fragility of trust. | step closer, my heart heavy with the weight of my own insecurities. “Ettie, I'm sorry. | didn’t mean it. I’m just... I’m scared of losing who we are in this place.”
She wipes away a tear, her gaze searching mine for sincerity. “I thought we could rely on each other, Alina. That's what kept us going. If we lose that, what do we have left?”
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Her vulnerability becomes a mirror reflecting my own fears. The realization hits me — I'm not alone in this struggle, and the survival of our camaraderie is as crucial as navigating the dangers that lurk in the shadows..
“I'm scared, Ettie. Scared of becoming something I’m not. But I’m also scared of losing you,” | admit, the words hanging in the air like an unspoken plea. “That’s what scares me the most.”
Ettie’s gaze softens, a flicker of understanding bridging the gap between us. “Alina, you mean everything to me. | did what | did to protect you, to keep you safe. If that means sacrificing a piece of myself, then so be it.”
Her admission, both heartbreaking and selfless, makes me realize the gravity of her choices. We're not just navigating a forest filled with perilous beasts; we're navigating the complexities of our own humanity.
| crouch down beside her, reaching out tentatively to touch her shoulder. “Ettie, I’m scared because | care about you. But | can’t blindly accept everything. We need to find a balance, a way to survive without losing ourselves.”
She nods, a silent acknowledgment of the truth we both recognize. “I never wanted to make you doubt me, Alina. | just... | can’t lose you in this place. | can’t let anything happen to you.”
The sincerity in her eyes resonates with the depth of my own fears. We’re two souls entangled in the dance of survival, each step fraught with uncertainty. “We need each other, Ettie. But we also need to trust in our ability to make the right
choices.”
Asilence lingers between us. Ettie wipes her tears with the back of her hand.
“I'm sorry for what | said, Ettie,” | finally murmur, a genuine apology lingering in the air. “Let’s find a way through this together.” She smiles, a fragile but hopeful expression. “Together.”
| help Ettie to her feet.
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“Come on, Ettie,” | murmur, my voice a gentle reassurance. “Let's go back to the hut. We'll figure this out together.”
Ettie nods, a silent acknowledgment of the tentative truce we've forged. The path to the hut is familiar, each step a testament to the bond we're determined to
preserve. Ettie’s steps are hesitant, her frame still carrying the weight of our recent discord.
Inside the hut, the atmosphere is charged with a sense of fragile reconciliation. Ettie lowers herself onto a makeshift chair, her eyes avoiding mine. The scars of our argument linger, and | find myself grappling with the realization that our friendship, is a delicate ecosystem teetering on the brink.
| busy myself with the meager belongings scattered around the hut, avoiding direct eye contact with Ettie. The tension between us, though softened, remains palpable. My thoughts, however, drift to a place of introspection, unraveling the layers of my emotions.
“Ettie,” | start, my voice a tentative bridge, “I never realized how much you care. | didn’t mean to doubt you.”
She looks up, her eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and vulnerability. “It's okay, Alina. We're both scared in this place. Sometimes it makes us say things we don’t
mean.”
I nod, a silent acknowledgment of our shared vulnerability. The hut, with its crude walls and makeshift furnishings, becomes a sanctuary where honesty and
acceptance can coexist. “| just... | don’t want to lose you, Alina,” Ettle confesses, her voice a fragile plea. “I can’t imagine going through this alone.”
Her words resonate with the unspoken fears that echo within me. We're navigating uncharted territory, not just within the forest but within the recesses of our own hearts.
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“You won't lose me, Ettie,” | assure her, my voice unwavering. “We're in this together, no matter what.”
Ahesitant smile graces Ettie’s lips, a glimmer of hope in the midst of our shared uncertainty.
The flickering light of the hut casts shadows, dancing in tandem with the unspoken tension that lingers between Ettie and me.
| turn towards Ettie, the question that has lingered unspoken finally finding its way into the dimly lit space. “What if someone comes to claim me again, Ettie? What will you do?”
Her response hangs in the air, a heavy silence engulfing the hut. Ettie’s eyes, usually filled with a fierce determination, freeze for a moment. It’s as if the forest itself has stilled, holding its breath in anticipation of her words.
“I'll kill them.” she says, her voice devoid of hesitation, her eyes dark pools reflecting the seriousness of her vow. “I'll kill all of them.”
The weight of her answer settles over us, an unspoken pact forged in the crucible of survival. | expected some form of reassurance, perhaps a more ambiguous declaration, but the stark clarity in Ettie’s words leaves me grappling with the reality of our circumstances.
“Why, Ettie?” | ask, my voice tinged with a mixture of confusion and trepidation. “Why would you kill someone for me?”
She meets my gaze, her expression unwavering. “Because, Alina, you're not just anyone. You're my friend, and no one has the right to harm you. | won't let anyone claim you.”