Chapter 38
am nervous for so many reasons I can’t count them all. Today will be the hardest test that I cannot fail under any circumstances. Somehow, I have learned to shut away emotion this past year and focus on only one thing – survival.
Massimo sits like a burden wrapped around me, weighing me down and sucking any hope I have left. Like one of the fictitious Death Eaters, he is slowly sucking away any humanity within me and I will myself to get through today and make it back in one piece.
He holds my hand and gently plays with my fingers and sighs. “I like this color on you.”
He studies the manicure he gave me last night, and then I watch him drop my hand and smooth out an imaginary crease in my black silk dress. “You must look perfect, my pet. I want to be the envy of everyone there. I have the brightest star in heaven, and she will shine so brilliant she will blind every person there tonight.”
I feel his scrutiny and hope to God nothing is out of place, and he whispers, “Look at me, my pet.”
Slowly, I turn and stare into eyes full of madness, although unlike Flynn, this man does not wear it well.
Just thinking of Flynn makes my soul weep and yet I push the image away just as quickly as it came and focus instead on my husband to get me through.
He frowns and says with a hint of steel in his voice, “Remember. I will hear everything you say. Pass this test, my pet, and you shall be rewarded.
Fail and, well, we all know what happens then.”
He laughs as if he’s a fucking comedian and I nod, forcing a smile onto my lips. “I won’t let you down, darling.”
My heart thumps like a bass drum as I set my resolve in place. I can do this and I will do this because I have no other choice.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
The moment we pull through the familiar gates, I almost doubt my own determination. The familiar becomes my nightmare as we join the long procession of cars making their way to the house.
If I feel anything, it’s fear. Not for what’s inside, but that I won’t make it back. That is not an option, so I shut down inside as I have trained myself to do this past year-to survive.
The car sweeps to the front door and I hold my breath as we stop and Massimo steps out, tugging me with him.
His hand feels sweaty, and I know he is tense about this. I’m not sure why because we have more security than the Queen of England and I have seen first-hand how his organization operates.
Massimo Delauren is a feared mafia bastard for a very good reason. He has the biggest operation, the deadliest loyalty of his employees and hides behind a fortress. His dealings are legendary in the business and his punishments cruel and designed to invoke fear in the hearts of everyone who knows him. He is untouchable, and that is why I can’t fail.
We walk hand in hand into my childhood home and the only thing that strikes me is how small it looks. Compared to Massimo’s palace, this could fit into one small wing of it. He has several homes which are closely guarded like a fortress and all of them are equipped with a dungeon that he likes to visit frequently.
Pushing those images away, I follow him to a room filled with mourners and all eyes turn in our direction and a hush falls as we head inside. Not just because of him, either. Because of me, because today is the day I visit my family for the first time since I left.
My heart thumps as if it’s afraid it won’t make it, and Massimo grips my hand tightly and pulls me close by his side.
Then the moment arrives that I’ve been dreading and my brother steps away from the crowd and heads toward us, looking every inch the mafia don he has now inherited the title of.
“Massimo.”
He addresses my husband first out of respect and Massimo says with a hint of steel in his voice, “Angelo, I am sorry for your loss.”
My brother just nods, and I feel his piercing gaze searching me for answers that I am not prepared to give.
“Winter.”
His deep familiar voice tests my resolve as Massimo knew it would and only the tightening on my fingers, crushing them in a warning, tells me my husband is as much on edge as I am.
“Please, follow me.”
I nod because we knew this would be the first obstacle to overcome and as I walk beside my brother, I do so with my husband’s hand firmly in mine.
We say nothing and as we reach the familiar room where my father ruled his empire, I wonder if I am really strong enough.
Massimo leans down and whispers, “I’ll be waiting outside. Call me if you need me, my darling.”
Then he leans down and brushes his lips against mine and I know it’s purely for Angelo’s attention and I nod, smiling up at him as if he’s my fucking Prince Charming. “Thank you, my darling.”
He gently strokes my face and looks at me with passion, and it always amazes me how well he plays this. Then again, he is very passionate about his favorite doll and so I smile as if he hung the moon and step inside the room.
The door closes behind us and when I see the coffin, all I feel is a surge of relief.
I walk across and peer inside and see my father looking as if he’s sleeping peacefully. The cruel twist to his lips and the arrogant expression went with him to death, it seems.
Only the bullet hole square between his eyes tells me his ending was quick at least and I say bitterly, “Rot in hell, you bastard.”
Angelo moves beside me and the urge to take his hand is overwhelming and I begin to shake inside. Trying to distract my thoughts, I say in an angry whisper, “It wasn’t painful enough.”
“It was my only chance, and all that matters is I killed the miserable bastard as I always said I would.”
The silence is ominous and for a moment we are fourteen again. Two souls joined for eternity, taking on the world.
Angelo moves closer and I move away from him. Creating distance between us in a powerful message to fuck off.
“Stay.” Angelo’s voice is firm and full of conviction, and I laugh derisively. “Why would I want to do that, Angelo?”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
“Because I love my husband and I’m happy.”
“Are you sure about that, Winter? You forget I know you better than anyone.”
“You know nothing about me. When I left you that day, I was taken to Massimo. He has become my everything, and I realized how lucky I am. I fell in love, and we are happy. Why can’t you accept that?”
He moves toward me, and I shrink back against the wall because God forbid he sees past my lies.
Grabbing my hand, he pulls me toward him and hisses, “Drop the act. We both know you don’t mean one word of it. Tell me what he has over you. I’ll set you free and I won’t leave you to spend your days in hell with him.”
Pushing him away, I say with a sneer. “Then you will ruin my life. You will make me unhappy because I’m telling the truth. I love my husband and he is everything to me. Why is that so hard to believe?”
I take a few deep breaths and say firmly, “The day I left, I told him everything. About your plans, and desire to ruin empires. In return for knowledge, he has given me everything. I sold you and your friends out for my own purposes and I would do it again in a heartbeat. You are all deluded if you think you can ever be greater than my husband, and so I am begging you to walk away. Leave me alone where I am happy because I don’t want you. I don’t need you, and the last thing I want is to ever see you again.”
Taking a look at the open coffin, I spit into it, hitting my father’s face in one direct hit. “Fuck you all. I hate you.”
Turning, I make to leave and, in a flash, Angelo is by my side, pinning me against the wall and leaning in hisses, “When did you grow up into a bitch sister, this isn’t you, trust me, I know. What hold does he have over you?”
“Love, Angelo. I love him, and why can’t you accept that?”
I push him away, hoping like hell he hasn’t creased my dress and smeared my red painted lips and with a deep breath I say coldly, “Enjoy your life, Angelo. I don’t want to be part of it.”
As I reach the door, I open it and Massimo steps forward and his eyes pass me as he looks into the room.
I’m not certain if he looks at the coffin or Angelo, but his deep voice scratches against my nerves as he says smoothly, “Death is so final, so peaceful really. Who knows what horrors went before the final act? Your father was a powerful man and yet even he never saw the ending coming for him. Unexpected, cruel and final.”
His hand folds around mine and he says, “Have you paid your respects, my darling?”
“Yes, I have.”
“Would you like to stay for a while and spend time with your brother?”
“No. I want to go home, my darling, where I belong.”
He nods and I can’t see the look he directs at my brother, but I’m pretty certain it’s a triumphant one.
As I walk beside him, back the way we came, I just hope I’ve done enough.
We are back in the car inside ten minutes and as the door slams and the car moves away, Massimo laughs, which makes me relax-a little.
“Well done, my pet.”
He reaches behind my ear and removes the listening device and tosses it to the floor.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me down. I have trained my pet well, although I heard you curse, my darling. I am not happy about that.”
A feeling of dread freezes my blood. Please God, no.
He fusses with my hair and smooths down my clothes, and smiles. “I am feeling generous and will overlook that for once. No, I am pleased with how today went and may allow you a few more excursions if you continue to please me. It feels good knowing your family is no longer a threat to us, so I will grant your wish.”
“You mean…” He smiles. “Tonight, you may have a sleepover.”
The relief hits me inside and all the tension leaves me as I smile at him happily. “I can?”
He nods. “Please me, and I am very generous. I don’t need to tell you what happens when you anger me, so all the time you do as expected, you will treated like a queen.”
For the entire journey, I feel a lightness to my spirit that tells me I did the right thing, and I almost can’t wait to get home.
As soon as we arrive at the most closely guarded fortress there is, I feel eager to get this over with.
Massimo laughs and pulls me with him toward his room and this is the side to him I prefer. Generous, kind even and caring and I just thank God I played my part so well.
We reach his room and I note the huge bed and silken sheets with not a crease in sight. The soft carpeting is new because at any hint of dirt, it is quickly ripped up and a fresh carpet laid. The freshly polished wood gleams and the mirrors sparkle and nothing is out of place because that is how he likes it.
He steps away from me and says almost as an aside.
“Follow me.”
We head to the closet that could house a family of five and step inside a white painted mirage of everything a girl dreams of. Chandelier’s sparkle and mirrors reflect the glass-covered shelves, with every item of clothing ever made it seems. Beautiful silks and taffeta. Cashmere and fur, all neatly arranged in order of color. Drawers of jewelry and impeccably placed rows of shoes, all individually lit under spotlights. This room is his dream and my nightmare and as he closes the door, he says with excitement lacing his voice.
“Take off your clothes.”
I don’t even think about it. I am so eager to please him and with care, I remove every item from my body, folding it up and placing it on the side where the maid will deal it with it later.
I move to the center of the room and stand on a kind of pedestal and feel the light warming my naked body while Massimo walks around me, admiring the view.
He runs his fingers against my flat stomach and then trails them across my breast. Then he frowns and sighs. “You have some growth; we need to deal with that.”
I watch as he removes a razor from the drawer and carefully shaves away the stubble on every part of me and feeling the blade reminds me how close I am to pain and when he finishes, he steps back and looks at his handiwork critically.
Then he grabs some lotion and carefully massages every part of my body, and I will myself to stand as stiff as a statue. God, forbid I move or make a sound while he plays with his doll and I focus on only one thing. The sleepover.
He selects a beautiful silk nightgown and as he dresses me, the soft fabric falls down my body like a lover’s embrace. I have the best that money can buy, so I’m the lucky one, I guess.
He drapes a matching silk robe around me and says with a great deal of satisfaction. “We need to tidy up that hair of yours.”
Dutifully, I sit in the chair and wait patiently for him to comb out my long hair one hundred times and even the bite of the comb doesn’t distract me from the happiness I’m feeling inside.
One final hurdle to jump and it will all have been worthwhile.
He drops low on the ground before me and runs his hand up my leg and then parts my thighs, lifting the nightdress with care as he kisses my skin and inhales the scent that he loves so much. Chanel. His favorite.
“You are so beautiful, my little pet. I always knew you would be. You have pleased me today and so tonight we both get what we want.”
I say nothing and just paint a smile on my face as he sighs and covers my legs before reaching for my hand.
“Come. I am impatient to begin.”
As I follow him back into his bedroom, I feel an excitement I rarely get to feel. I would do anything for this. I have sold my soul for this, and I follow him through the large living space to the door on the opposite side of his suite of rooms. He raises his finger, pressing his print to the biometric entry system to gain access and I hold it together for fear of anything spoiling this moment and as we step inside the room, my heart leaps and the emotion almost overcomes me until I push it away for later.
We approach the white crib set in the middle of the room and stand on either side of it looking in.
“There he is.”
Massimo’s soft voice spoils the moment, and fear sharpens my senses when he lifts my son into his arms.
“So beautiful, so small and so breakable.”
He gently rocks him, and Frankie stirs from his sleep and cries a little.
“Such a beautiful baby, just like his mother.”
Massimo walks over to the window and my senses are on high alert as he gazes across the empire he runs.
“A blessing from God that we prayed for but never dared hope to see.”
He laughs softly. “It was an ingenious plan but had an element of luck involved. Place you like forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden and hope temptation proved too much. Miss. English distracting your brother was her idea and I must say it worked a treat, but which one is the father, I wonder?”
I tense and plaster a blank look on my face and say in a voice devoid of emotion. “It could be any one of them.”
He laughs and spins around and shakes his head. “So wanton, my little pet. So desperate to be loved. We knew it would only be a matter of time, and I had hoped our plan had worked. Not that it would have mattered if you came to me without this precious gift growing inside you. I had a suitable candidate lined up just in case.”
He lifts my son high, and I am ready to pounce if necessary; a mother on the edge of insanity who would kill to protect her child.
“No, he is perfect regardless, because I now own the most valuable commodity there is. My son keeps you in line and my enemies away, because just the hint of a threat will force me to reveal my hand.”
He strokes Frankie’s head and leans down and kisses him gently. “You have our son for fourteen years, my darling, and then he’s mine. I will leave you to enjoy the evening because I have a new toy waiting for me that I am keen to play with. Enjoy this generous gift because tomorrow it’s business as usual.”
As he walks toward me and hands me my son, I hold it together until he leaves, the door slamming behind me sealing me in a prison I never want to leave.
Clutching my son as tightly as possible, I let the dam burst and as the tears fall down my face, I whisper, “I love you Francesco and I will set us both free, I promise you that.”
As he snuggles into my arms, I look at his beautiful face staring up at me and feel my heart tremble with emotion. So like his father. Dark hair and the darkest brown eyes with the longest lashes. My one night only is my most treasured memory and I will always have a reminder of what love feels like. I lied when I told Alessandro I was on the pill because I wanted to feel every part of him and never for one moment thought of the repercussions of that. It was the greatest decision I ever made because now I have purpose and love for the first time in my life. I know my reason for being here. I have my son and if I must sacrifice everything else I would do so in a heartbeat just to hold him in my arms and love him unconditionally.
I will bide my time and form my plan and when Massimo least expects it, I will kill the bastard and, unlike my father’s death, it won’t be quick. The murderous rage that swirls inside my heart is building, and I am counting down the hours until we are free.