The Lycan King’s Breeder

Chapter 59: Avalyn’s POV

“Avalyn!!” Dawn’s voice snapped me out of sleep and my eyes fluttered open.

I was still in the bathroom. I wore a robe but I was laying on the floor. After the trance I had, I couldn’t bring myself to return to the room. I could only stay there on the bathroom floor.

“Goddess! What are you doing sitting on the floor?” Dawn yelled even louder as she poked her head inside and found me on the bathroom floor.

She rushed to me and helped me to my feet. “Are you okay? What happened?” she whispered as she snaked her hand around me and helped me to my feet.

I felt ashamed of myself. How could I tell her that I wanted to kill myself? How could I tell her that I was given up on everything? That I was that selfish?

I was tired.

I was tired of constantly reigniting my hope only for it to be snatched so brutally from me.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

When they bought me, I thought I was doomed to die. When I heard I was going to become a breeder I was certain I was destined to die miserably.

But they showered me with love, they made me see things I didn’t know exist. I felt emotions, I thought were not for people like me.

And now with just one snap of the fingers, everything was destroyed.

I was left even worse than how I started. Why?

Tears started trickling down my eyes as I looked at Dawn. My body was weak and heavy, yet she refused to just leave me there.

“Avalyn, I know this is hard but you shouldn’t do this to yourself. It is hard for me too. It is hard for everybody, okay?” She scolded me but she still tenderly led me to the room like a little child that couldn’t use their legs.

Her voice shook as she spoke and I felt a part of me break away. This was really hard. Not just for me but for everyone, just like she had said.

Now I knew the dream I had was right. The trance I was in, was right. What would they have felt if I killed myself?

I felt even worse than a criminal.

“I am sorry, Dawn. I am so sorry,” I whispered. More tears joined the flood already on my face as I held her close.

She froze at first but the more I cried into her shoulder, she slowly moved her hands across my back. From the way her breathing came, I could tell she was also crying along with me.

“I had so much hope, Dawn… I thought that I was finally going to make life…”

Breathing through my nose became impossible as the only opening on my face was my mouth but even that was hard. My throat was burning.

“I made peace with myself that even if I died, my son would be king someday and I would be remembered… I thought of so many beautiful things, Dawn…” I cried harder into her arms.

Dawn only sniffled and patted my back.

“Why did he die? Dawn, why?” I sobbed clutching her shoulders. “Now, everything is over. I am done!”

She pulled me slightly away from her and looked into my eyes. I could see the sadness swimming in her orbs and I could see how much she was trying to be strong.

Then she pulled my hair away from my face and she flashed me a small smile despite the pain in her heart.

“All hope is not lost, Avalyn. Everything will be fine. The goddess will surely see your kind soul. She will bless you with another…”

Another? I thought bitterly. Their goddess or whatever she was couldn’t bless me with a child and now how could she bring back what she didn’t give?

“How can she bless me when Talon doesn’t even want to look at me? He hates-” I started to say but she stopped my words by placing her fingers over my lips.

“Don’t say that Avalyn. Don’t…” She whispered harshly.

I pursed my lips and tried to control my sobbing but it only got stronger.

“What can I say, Dawn? He didn’t even look at me when he came into the ward…” I whimpered looking into her eyes, searching for the answers I desperately needed.

“He is hurt too.” She paused and wiped the tears trailing down her face. “Avalyn, we are all hurt. You are not the only one broken by this… In fact, for the alpha, it is stronger because even the queen lost a child too!”

My tears paused for a second, as my body froze.

“The queen lost a baby?” I gasped.

Willow was pregnant too?

“Yes, the King found her in her room and she was almost dying. When they brought her to Sara, the child was already dead.”

“Oh, my God!” I cried out covering my mouth with my fingers.

In the instant, I forgot about my pain and only thought of Talon. He must have been devastated.

“What happened to her?” I whispered.

I knew that my child was killed due to the stupid chocolate cake I ate but Willow, surely it couldn’t have been the same thing?

“Sara said they found residues of that medication you found in her body too. Her concentration was even stronger. Hers wasn’t in food, they gave it to her as actual pills.” Dawn explained.

She wiped her face with the back of her hand and got up from her position in front of me.

“We need to be very careful from now on. Our enemies have infiltrated the pack. We can’t let them win anymore, Avalyn…” she said as she paced up and down the room.

I just sat down watching her with a smile on my face. My pain was still there and the tears hadn’t stopped but the love I got from Dawn was something I could never buy.

I never thought anyone other than myself could love me this much.

“Where is Emily?” I asked, suddenly recalling that I haven’t seen her. She didn’t come to visit me in the clinic either.

Was she mad at me? Did she think it was my fault?

“She is in the training room. Throwing punches has a way of easing out her anger.” Dawn explained.

“You are sure she isn’t mad at me?” I asked and she shook her head.

“Of course not. Why would she? She feels guilty about what happened like every one of us…” she said and my heart sank.

One would think, I would feel better knowing that she wasn’t avoiding me because she was angry with me. She wasn’t here because she felt guilty about what happened.

And that didn’t make me feel better.

I hated that I made them feel this way. They didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who should feel all the guilt.

I was the one who was stupid enough to lose the baby. They couldn’t have known that it was poisoned.

“Can I go to her?” I asked Dawn. Maybe if I spoke to her she would feel better. I felt better talking to Dawn.

She shook her head with a smile. “You are still weak, Avalyn. Sara requests that you stay in bed for at least a week. Before you start to slowly move around…”

I wanted to recover as quickly as possible so I accepted her instructions without a hiccup.

“Fine. I will wait. But if after a week, she doesn’t come here then I will go to her.” I pulled my legs together and wiped my tears away.

Dawn smiled at the determination on my face before her eyes moved somewhere behind me. “Oh, that reminds me. I brought your medication and food,” she said, moving behind me.

I turned and saw her bring forward a tray. She placed it on the bed and pulled the cover away.

“Delicious, hmm?” she whispered.

My face fell on the chocolate pudding on the plate and my appetite evaded me.

“I can’t eat this Dawn. Can I just rest for a while?” I whispered as my eyes glared at the food.

Dawn followed my sight and took out the chocolate pudding from the tray. She picked up a sealed cup and placed it in front of me.

“These are your meds, they are really strong. You should eat something along with it,” Dawn suggested.

With one look at the colorful pills, I shook my head refusing it.

“Can I not take it?!” I blurted out as I continued to eye the pills.

“No, Avalyn. If you are going to get better, then you need these pills. That also means that you need food,” she stated in a non-debatable voice.

“If you don’t, you and Sara are going to have a serious problem and then the King will punish everyone else who failed to take care of you,” as she spoke the last line, she smiled.

“I am sorry Dawn. Sorry for all the stress I have caused you since the first time we met. You have been nothing but kind to me. I am sorry,” I whispered.

“Nonsense! Back then I was doing my duties and I still am! Now please stop appreciating me with words. I need you to take these pills and not apologize,” she insisted.

I was smiling as I reluctantly ate the food piled on the tray.