Chapter 130
"Hey, babe" Everest gives me a peck on my lips as he sits down beside me. I still cannot believe that we have started dating. We have been dating for ten days and I keep telling myself that I'm going to get used to our relationship, but the truth is, I haven't. It's not that I don't like him, I actually like Everest a lot, but I feel like maybe I'm still not mentally prepared yet to get into another relationship. Maybe I like him more than a friend, but less than a boyfriend, if this is even possible. When I officially ended everything with Silas, I told myself I needed time to think everything through. I didn't like how he was waiting for me and I thought to myself that it would be better if I freed him from the shackles of a relationship I wasn't sure I could ever give him again. It's been more than a month, and I still cannot bring myself to forget the look of pain in his eyes. It's been haunting me, and I don't know if I can ever forget it. His speechlessness that day broke my heart into a thousand pieces and all I kept thinking about was that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I needed to give us more time. I didn't want to make him hold onto something that didn't exist, which was hope in our case.
I'm trying to accept the fact that I'm not going to remember anything, but I still haven't made peace with that idea. However, at some point, I realized that the whole situation was hopeless for Silas and me, so I made the decision to walk away to avoid causing him more pain. When I told Kendall and Sabrina about my decision, they supported me, but it was easy to see how neither of them was fully on board with that decision. When I asked them if I acted irrationally, they both had the same answer. They told me I needed to do what I thought was right for me, which didn't ease my agony. "Hey there." I give Everest a wide smile. I have to say, Everest has been incredibly nice to me, and he hasn't tried to force any old memory on me. Instead, he has been trying to help me create new ones. I'm thankful for that. I wasted three months trying to remember those two years and not a single memory came back. On our third date, Ever Everest asked me to be his girlfriend, telling me he understood my confusion. He told me he didn't mind if I never remembered anything, and he was willing to start anew with me. I don't know why, but I found myself saying yes, even though I wasn't completely ready. But s But something about the way he spoke compelled me to do so. I told myself that maybe giving him a chance could help me out. I have been trying to convince myself that my decision wasn't bad, because Everest hasn't done anything wrong, yet Perhaps it's because I
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something feels inc feel like I have betrayed Silas and his friends, who were also my friends at some point. Silas has never like Everest, and he has made it pretty clear, but here I am, dating Everest after cutting ties with him. It feels like I have stabbed him in the back
and a huge part of me hate myself for r it.
"What are you working on?" he asks after ordering something for himself. We are at a café near the campus.
"I have this paper due on Tuesday and I want to finish it today," I reply, taking a sip from my water bottle.
"You still have tomorrow," Everest points out, but I shake my head.
"One of the authors
I love is dropping her new novel tomorrow and I know I will spend the whole day reading it," I excitedly say, causing him to chuckle. "What?" I can't help but frown at his reaction. "Rosie, you need to grow up." My frown deepens when he says that. What does growing up have to do with books?
do you mean?" I ask, forgetting the essay
"Reading isn't for adults. You need to let go of your books and join the real life," he casually says. Anger bubbles up inside of me, but I try not to let it show.
"I can assure you that reading isn't just for kids. In fact, some books should never be available for kids, I point out. I try to imagine kids reading some of the crime or romance books I have, and I shudder at the thought. They would be traumatized. 08.30 Wed, Oct 16
"I just feel that reading is for lifeless people." He shrugs and it takes a lot of self-control to remain calm.
"I mean this in the most respectful way, Everest, but please tell me how busy your life is compared to my mother's? She reads three books per month at least." I fold my arms over my chest.
I think he notices the change in my mood and behaviour as he immediately says, "Oh babe, you got it all wrong. I didn't mean it in a bad way. But you're young and you should go out and explore life instead of spending your time fawning over ink on paper." "Thank you for looking out for me, but I can assure you that I'm quite content with my life and I'm already enjoying every aspect of it," I tell him. I hate it when people attack others' interests just because they don't like the activity. Aren't we allowed to be different?
"I want nothing, but your happiness," he says with a smile I fail to interpret, but all I can say is that it's not a genuine one. "So, what's your plan for the weekend?" He changes the subject and I'm glad about that.
"I'm going home because my family is attending an event related to Dad's work and I'm supposed to be there," I tell him. "What about you??
"I don't have anything in mind, so maybe I could be your date for the event," he suggests, and I immediately want to say no. I don't want him to be with me and I don't even know why.
"I'm sorry, Everest, but you can't. This event is very private, and I cannot bring a plus one," I apologize. This is a lie. I can bring whoever I want, but he doesn't know and I'm grateful for that.
"But I'm your boyfriend," he argues. "Shouldn't you introduce me to your family?" We have been dating for a little more than a week. Why does he expect me to introduce him to them this fast? I haven't even told them yet that we started dating.
"They don't know that I have a boyfriend, Everest. I plan on telling them this weekend and it won't seem right to bring you with me while telling them. Plus, this event is strictly for family members and our very close circle," I explain, hoping he'll understand. "Very close circle? Does that mean that Silas is going to be there?" he wonders. I haven't thought about that, but Silas's family is very close to mine, so they will probably be there, but I don't know about Silas.
"I don't know, but there's a huge possibility that he may attend," I answer truthfully.
"It's pretty annoying that your ex gets to attend these events, but I can't," he huffs.
"He doesn't attend because he is my ex. Silas's family is very close to my family and there's business between the two families," I explain. Why does he want to meet my family that bad? I haven't so much as thought about meeting his family. I. don't like moving fast in relationships.
"You still plan on taking an Uber to commute?" he asks me.
"Is there any other way?" I wonder. Now that I think about it, there's another way. Or at least, there used to be another way. Silas. I don't know if he would offer to give me a ride if he's going or not and I'm not sure if I should accept such an offer if it is made. "Maybe it's time to get behind the wheel again, Rosie."
No, it's not the right time for that. I'm not ready to drive again. I get anxious when I'm in the passenger seat, so I can't bring myself to imagine how it would be if I sat behind the wheel again. I tried doing it once and I had a panic attack. I have been going to therapy and it's helping, but but I believe that I need to take it slow. One step at a time.
Everest believes that I should embark on new adventures and face my fears to get over them and simply, this is not me at all. "I still need time, Everest," I say, hoping that he would drop it.
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"Okay, but think about it. You need to get over your fear and move on," he tells me.
"I know and I'm sure that this moment will come, but as for now I need to take things slow," I say.
Everest wasn't that pushy before we started dating and I don't know what happened during those ten days. However, the way he's acting makes me feel like my decision to date him has been rushed and uncalculated.