Taming Mr. CEO

“What exactly this is all about, huh?” Logan’s voice suddenly becomes flat with a hint of coldness on it.

I smiled between my sobs. That’s it, baby… that’s it. Be mad at me. Be the Logan I used to know before. Be that rude and heartless boss I have ever known.

“We are okay, right? We are okay.” I shook my head as an answer. “No, we are, baby. We are just okay earlier, stop this.”

I lifted my gaze on him and then stared at him deep with my tearful eyes. “We are not… we are not okay.” I sob.

“Come on, Alice… if this is a joke then I am telling you, stop this shit. You know I have a short string of patience… you knew that.”

“This is not a joke, I am not kidding. I am asking you to stay away from me and that isn’t a joke.”

“Bullsh*t, Alice!” he roared as he drastically stood up which made my sobs go louder. “Of all the favor you can ask on me, why the hell do you want me to stay away from you?! Why?! What was your reason? Why are you suddenly asking me to stay away from when we are okay earlier?! Did I do wrong? Did I hurt you?”

I shook. “No…no. It’s not you, Logan… it’s me. I am asking you this because I can no longer take the pain. I didn’t know what to do if we continue this. It f*cking frustrate me… everything you’re doing is f*cking frustrate me. You suddenly become so sweet, when in fact, we are not like this before. I want the old Logan to be back, I want that Logan instead of the Logan I have been with this past few days. Be mad at me, Logan… please… be mad at me so I can stop myself loving a man who’s still hopelessly in love with his past. Be mad at me, hurt me rather so I can make myself hate you. Please…”

“You want the old Logan to come back? Do you really mean what you said, huh Alice?” Now, his voice totally becomes cold. Gone is the concern that is creeping on it earlier.

That’s it… just continue doing that…

“Answer me, Alice. Do you f*cking mean what you said?” he asked again.

Trying to stop my sobs from letting out, I silently nodded and heard his rough curse afterward.

“Fine. I will give what you asked for and I’ll assure you, you will f*cking regret asking that Logan be back again.” And he walked out of the room, leaving me alone while I heard how my heart shattered into pieces.

I asked for this. In order to protect myself from the deep pain he can give me in the future, I need to be damaged as early as possible. At least now, in the following days and so, I can eventually get over the pain instead of being happy in his arms knowing that there is a disaster waiting for me ahead.

After what happened, after Logan left and didn’t come back for the rest of the hours that day, I didn’t see him again even in the house. And even Aisle is asking why she didn’t see her father around, all I can say to her was that Logan is out for a business trip which is a total lie I created. I don’t even know where he is by now. It’s been a day since I last saw him and even though I am the reason why he didn’t show up, I am still waiting for him. Last night, I’ve been so hypocritical. I asked him to stay away from me yet I’ve longed for his touch that night. I wanted him behind me again, giving warmth to me. All of the sudden, I wanted to take back my words and chase him back but I know, it was already too late. I have decided and he already did also.

The old Logan is now back. Gone the sweet, caring Logan. And I know, if he came back after many days or so, I have to face the consequences of asking that Logan to be back.

I just wished that he will not hurt Aisle as well. I am only asking him to be mad at me not at our child. Because if he ever did, it would be my death knowing that my daughter will experience misery all because of me.

“Mommy, when will Daddy be back? It’s just a week before my birthday and it would be my first birthday with him.” I smiled at Aisle to fade her worry away even though I know that it is possible that Logan will not be on her birthday.

“Daddy called last night, he told me that he can make it to your birthday. He’ll be home after two days.” And as if the angel blessed my words, Logan did show up after two days.

When I first landed my eyes on him, I felt relief. Finally, he came back.

“I just came back for my daughter and not for you, Alice. Stop smiling, it pisses me off.” Logan whispered in my ears coldly while Aisle forced him to hug me.

My smile faded after hearing what he said. How dare my heart forget that day… that day I asked Logan to stay gone. He already did what I asked for but why do I have this feeling of heaviness in my heart? I asked for this… I f*cking do.

“Of course, I–I didn’t forget…” I stuttered before he pulled out from the hug. I am not even sure if he heard it or not because it seems like he didn’t when he pulled out fast.

“Daddy, how was your trip? Mommy told me you are in Singapore.” Logan glanced at me with his piercing eyes before he bring down his eyes on Aisle again.

“Daddy’s trip went fine. I’ve enjoyed it,” he replied, emphasizing the last sentence intentionally.

I gulped the lump on my throat and decided to go upstairs instead of watching them having bonds and I am not included anymore. When I reached my room, I locked it and decided to take a quick shower. And just like my past shower a few days ago, I ended up crying again while water is pouring on me. And the cold water hugging me reminds me of Logan now, cold yet caustic.

***

“Come on, Alice. Did you just ask me to come over so you can have a shoulder to cry on? I don’t even know why you are crying damn hard? What is it? Is there anything wrong with you?” Helena fired me her questions but instead of answering them one by one, I wiped out my tears and forced a smile which she instantly criticized.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

“You can’t fool me with your faked smile, Alice. Come on, tell me what is exactly going on?”

“Nothing,” I answered. “By the way, are you free for tonight?”

“Yeap, why?”

“Perfect then. I suddenly feel to go in a bar hopping. You know, it’s been a long time since we did.” I sipped on my juice and then lifted back my eyes on Helena who was staring at me with her contorted brows. “What?” I asked innocently.

“What’s with what? Did you just ask me to go in a bar-hopping?”

“Ah huh.”

“No.”

“What? Are you taking down your best friend?”

“No. We are not going to a bar unless you told me what is going on with you. I am totally clueless here, Alice. As in, literally.” And even though I don’t want her to know the truth, because she is too persistent and I badly want to drown myself in alcohol, I ended up telling Helena the whole truth.

From Ynez down to what I’ve asked for Logan.

After telling Helena the whole truth, we ended up in the bar. Together, we drank our ass off and dance out on the dance floor, turning the loud and flirtatious music played by the DJ.

“Hey, I… I’m just going to pee,” I said drunkenly to Helena after we headed back to our table. Helena just nodded, unable to speak anymore.

Laughing in her current state, I walked over to the comfort room I don’t exactly know where. I got to bump others on my way. Thankfully, I am still aware of my surroundings even though I am a bit tipsy. When I reached the comfort room after asking people I passed through, I then walked on a cubicle and locked myself. After taking minutes inside, I then headed back to the table where Helena is but, in the midway of walking back, I bumped into a hard figure which made me lose my balance. Thankfully, there is an arm that instantly snaked around my waist and put me steady.

I lifted my head and saw a blurry image of a man. “Oh, thank you, Mister,” I said-eyes are half-opened.

“Alice?”

“Oh, how did you know my name?”

“Damn, it’s me, Lyndon. Why are you here and damn it! Why are you f*cking drunk?”

“Lyndon?” I asked. “Oh, my husband’s brother. How are you, huh?” But instead of answering me, he dragged me to nowhere until the light near the dance floor hit my face making me shut my eyes tightly.

“Wait for me here, I’ll just call Logan.” As if like a hammer hit my head, I was instantly dragged back to my senses when I heard his name.

“Logan?” I asked, roaming my eyes around afterward, and then my eyes stopped on a table with three men seating including Logan. I bring back my eyes to Lyndon and tugged out my hand. “I got to go,” I announced and started walking away with him shouting behind or perhaps, following me.

I hurriedly run back to the table where Helena is currently waiting drunk as well. With my hazy vision and almost spinning background, I still summoned the rest of my strength and pulled myself together. Even though I already bumped several people on my way back to the table, I don’t care. What I care about is Logan and the fact that he is in the same bar where I am. He can’t see me in this state. Drunk and looking like a pathetic. I don’t want him to think that I am suffering because of my own choice. I just don’t want to.

“Hey, Alice…” Helena trailed, smiling drunkenly at me while she is half laying on the leather couch.

I pulled her hand and shove her sling bag on my shoulder. “Get up, Helena. F*cking get your ass off!” I gritted my teeth when Helena just murmured something I didn’t understand. “Helena, hey!” I patted her cheeks but again, she began murmuring.

“Helena, please. Get up! We need to go now, hey! Helena–”

“Need help?” someone asked.

“Yes, plea–” I stopped when I realized who owned that voice. I slowly twirled around and met his eyes, shooting me dangerously. Now, the alcohol literally left my body.

“Great. Instead of taking care of our child, you were just here partying and drinking yourself.” He shook his head as he stared at me mockingly before dragging me through the doorway. I tried to pull out but he didn’t me.

“Helena is still there!” I reasoned out but he didn’t answer instead, he continued to drag me until we reached his car.

He opened the door harshly and then glared at me. “Get in,” he ordered in a hard tone making me follow like a docile wife.