Chapter 131
“I want more gauze, antiseptic, isopropyl, hydrogen peroxide,” I listed off the necessities and Elizebeth nodded a long and wrote them down. We’ll need stuff for sutures, skin glue, and staples too,” I kept going.
Grayson was troubled with our fighting, keeping our warriors strong, trained, focused. I tasked myself with what happened if they were hrut anyways, I wanted to make sure there was enough supplies that if every one of our people got hurt there was supplies for them.
I also started holding classes on first aid, many of our more seasoned warriors came right away most if them just to brush up on their experience but our younger warriors assumed that if they were quick enough they wouldn’t get hurt. Eventually after Grayson sparred with a few of them at the same time, they decided to come and learn.
I tuaght them turnaquiets, basic infection prevention, and cpr. Wolves had quicker healing time most rebounded in a couple of weeks sometimes days, alphas like myself could heal in hours. They didn’t have that luxury, right now neither
did I.
My body was slowly returning to what it was before the silver had slowed down my postpartum recovery as well. I had started running in the morning, Grayson had been against it at first but when I pointed out that if had to run from a threat I needed to work up my strength. Elizebeth ran with me, I still found that whenI left my house she was at my side. I found it quite comforting even smirking to myself in remembrance of when I had first arrived. I had felt encroached on by her presence knowing she was watching n me for Grayson, now she stood at my shoulder as my right hand, one of my feircest defenders.
“You shouldn’t psu hyourslef,” she handed me a water bottle one morning.
Where the run would use to leave me stretched for training I was now drenched in sweat and panting. I still couldn’t summon seraphine, I couldn’t even feel her inside me. Still I ran, and I went longer each day no matter how I felt when I got her back I wanted to be ready her strength would be a large battle for me to accept in this state.
“I want to start sparring tomorrow,” I told her. I watched her face harden and still the wra inside her an order from me her luna, or possibly hurting me. “You can hold back of course but I don’t want to be useless just in case,”
She swallowed and nodded. “Can I ask Alpha what he thinks?” SHe attempted and I looked at her knowing she knew the answer. Asking grayson was akin to tattletailing on me, and she knew that.
“He’ll be angry with you,” She sat down beside me. “And furious with me,”
“He will understand and he’ll know you did as I asked, I’ll make sure of it,” I comforted her but I wasn’t going to take no for answer.
had been. Simon said almost all of the silver would be out of my body by now and that i should try and summon her once a day. It was all a guess really he hadn’t been abl
to test the silvers long term affect.
After the run I picked up Christian from his father, grayson had grown accustomed to spending the morning meetings with our son drooling on his arm. He didn’t seem to want to give it up and I was willing to let jhim have the small time together.
I grabbed him and kissed my husband before heading down to the field Matt now shadowing my opposite shoulder Elizebeth still on my other side. They did their task well looking over me everyday, I had gotten over the feeling of being babysat and now welcomed their supervision. I didn’t feel like a child but I felt safe unalone, I knew that I didn’t want to be alone but I forced myself everynight to stand on our back porch all alone. I had to get used to the sensation, had to trust myself to handle what was coming, I may face it by myself again and if I do I would handle it.
Each night as I sat out there I called for her I begged for her to come, Enzo needed her, he was desperate I could feel him howling for her. I could feel him, but seraphine was still hiding.
“It’ll take time Luna,” Ella reminded me after I explained my frustration with my wolfs reluctance to return to me. “You were severed you need to rejoin and she’ll come when she’s ready.
“I know but if you could imagine being separated from Kira,” I tried getting her to understand.
“I can’t think of it but I’m sure it hurts,” She offered but it wasn’t enough, I still appreciated her trying.
I looked at her while we weaved one day my brother just happening to pass by at the back of the grounds for no reason lingering for a moment, their eyes meeting and a blush creeping on her face.
Perhaps it was time I say something to one of them, I still doubte dmy brother would listen to what i had to say from his perspective Grayson and I had been blessed and no one could argue with it. Meanwhile they weren’t soulmates but they were in love even if they didn’t know it.
“He’s always been a romantic you know,” I stated watching her look up at me so freightened. “He’s got a really hard exterior that comes from being an heir and having all that pressure in that he and I were alike, but… he always had more. He’s always put himself off on his own, trying to keep everyone else happy, so if he ever meets somebody I hope she understands she’ll have to come to him,”
“I-i dont-” She began to talk but I held up my hand not interested in the abashed pretenses they continued to feed
everybody.
“Lying to your Luna is a serious offense Ella,” I was cold with my tone, she knew that I was right and she knew I was uninterested in her attempt.
“He’s in this as much as you are, you are not breaking any rules, and as someone who loves him I don’t care about tradition, or the order of the world. I care that he’s with a woman who will care for him,” I told her and her face became very solemn and dark.
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“That’s what I want too, so I keep my distance,” She confessed. “I should go relieve charlotte on the wall,”
I watched her walk away putting my hand dowen to Christian asleep in his basket at my feet. They were making it much
did the same thing to ourselves. Sooner or too difficult on themselves, I looked down at my son though his father and I later though they wouldn’t be apple to listen to all the reasons why they shouldn’t all they had to do was get close enough and that would be it.
I smiled to myself if they needed a nudge I could arrange it, not eyt but if it came to it I would resist the tmeptaion to set them up for moment alone.
“An na!” My mother called to me walking up and taking Christian from his basket. “I can watch him,”
“I like him close mama,” I told her.
I had heard of her behavior after my disappearance and though I had missed her greatly I wasn’t happy with her, she had made it even more unbearable for my husband in a very dark time. I would have thought her capable to rise above her
fears.
“He shouldn’t be outside like this,” she held him asleep in her arms rocking him gently.
“He’s fine, I’m beside him,” I stood and took my son back from my mother trying to keep my tone calm and placid.
I had told myself that if Christian was taken from me I would be as aggravated even worse than her, but I knew also I wouldn’t want to get in the way, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of more anger. I looked down at my son picturing how alone him and his father must have been in my absence with my mo mbreathing down his neck.
“Anna listen to me I have been caring for him while you’ve been gone,”
I’m sure she didn’t mean to strike such a chord in me, and I’m sure she thought she was being helpful and guiding me like always had but instead my silent ire was awakened.
“While you were berating my husband, fighting every decision he made? Taking my son at your whim when you got angry with my husband for nothing he had control over!” I shouted and Christian stirred and started crying in my arms.
My mother pouted and reached out for me but I stepped back.
“I want space and when I tell you how I will handle my son you’ll respect my decision, and you will never disrespect my husband in that way again,” I hissed.
I hadn’t meant to be so angry and cruel. I hadn’t meant to say it all in front of everyone but I had been seething for weeks. I had been angry with her for shielding me from a world like that and the wound to opened so viscerally, I was angry that they knew Charlie was in love with Ella and she turned a blind for what, for what reason. I was angry because even now she didn’t see the wrong in any of it.
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I walked off stomping my way back to my house and up to my bedroom shushing my son all the way. By the time we got 07 back he was calm but I wasn’t. I looked around my room at the home we had made. I inhaled deeply and slowly let go of it all and told myself I got so angry because I was still upset that I had missed that time.
I shouldn’t have taken it out on her. I was also angry because even though we were blessed by the goddess handcrafted for each other everyone still questioned us, my mother, Marcus, Deacon. I was
his. He was mine. End of story.
I walked over to my nightstand and opened up my drawer inside the ring box that had convinced me all those months ago to let Grayson compete the ice blue diamond inside.
I slipped it onto my finger, even if I didn’t have a wolf, even if everyone doubted. I chose him and I will tear apart anyone who tried to separate us again.
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