Offered to the Triplet Alphas

[Xanthea]

A very old memory flashed in my mind at Ezra's question.

I was five-year-old back then and had a caretaker who looked after me. And by looking after, I mean it was her duty to make sure I never crossed paths with luna Meesa and her family. Once, she failed to do her duty, and I began pondering around the Virgo palace. That was when I ended up in the dining hall.

I was hungry, and the table was brimming with delicacies I had never seen before.

Enticed by the food and captivated by their scent, I walked closer to the table. The scents that bewitched my senses that day were quite similar to the scents that surrounded me right now.

Standing on my tiptoes, I gaped at the dishes, my mouth watering. With a hungry gulp, my eyes lit up when they fell on a bear made of pancakes and berries.

I picked a blueberry from the bear pancake and put it in my mouth. I reached out for another one when I felt a sharp sting on the back of my hand. Someone swatted my hand away from the pancake. Before I could withdraw my hand, I felt a rough grip around my wrist and I was thrown on the floor, face-down.

Tears stung into my eyes at the pain. I lifted myself and sat on the floor and just when I turned around to see who it was, a plate shot right past my ear and crashed on the floor.

"How dare you come here!" Luna Meesa snarled, and I froze under her penetrating scrutiny. "Ugh! She's defiled all the food. Where is her caretaker?"

I sat on the floor, trembling as she clutched my upper arm. While she dragged me out of the dining hall, through my blurry vision, I saw the bear pancake lying among the shards of shattered plate and crushed berries on the floor. By then, my caretaker ran to me.

"If I see her anywhere near my family or the dining hall again, I will make sure neither of you ever see daylight again!" Luna Meesa pushed me out of the dining hall. I stumbled, but somehow stopped myself from falling. "It will never happen again, luna," my caretaker said.

"Make sure you give this filth a good lesson about her place in this palace. She should be grateful we give her food and a place to live." Her every word dripped with venom as she glared at me.

A glare that was imprinted on my mind forever, like a nightmare. I had never seen eyes so full of hatred ever again.

"Someone who belongs on the streets is living in the palace. The least she can do is know her limits. Now, take her out of my sight!" Luna Meesa spat.

And that day I learnt the first lesson of my life with every strike of my caretaker's stick; I should be grateful I was given food.

And ever since, I have disliked blueberries and pancakes.

***

Sitting at the same table with the royal family and eating? I smiled at the thought.

I didn't even belong in their dining hall or anywhere near them.

I lifted my eyes to meet Ezra's gaze, but found that all three of them were looking at me, awaiting an answer from me.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I lowered my gaze.

"I preferred eating alone," I mumbled.

Ezra slammed his hand on the table. Flinching, I shut my eyes. His eyes darkened as he clenched his jaws.

"You were never invited, never welcomed, never accepted," Ezra snapped. His words stabbed like daggers in my chest, reopening the wounds that never healed.

I lowered my head, clenching my fists over my thighs, holding myself from falling apart. There was a scream rumbling in my chest and I knew if I spoke a word right now, I would end up crumbling into sobs.

"Look in my eyes, Xanthea," Ezra commanded. I lifted my gaze to meet his bloodshot eyes. "Truth." He growled.

My nails dug into my skin as I fought to hold back my tears.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

With a natural deep breath, I gulped hard. I tried to keep my voice steady, but the quiver wasn't far from betraying me. "Alpha... I never had a family. But I was grateful to have food," I said, holding Ezra's gaze.

Ezra's brows knit not in anger, but in something I couldn't comprehend.

I curled my icy fingers into a fist, feeling my heart assault against my ribs.

Ezra took in a rough inhale, clenching and unclenching his jaws, looking outside the glass walls at the sea of skyscrapers.

All of us sat in silence for a while before Asher began serving me breakfast.

"Alpha, let me serve. You don't have to. I can-" I said, getting up from the chair slightly, almost panicking at this point.

"Of course, you can do it on your own. But once in a while, you can allow others to do things for you, right?" Asher said, plating salad for me.

I peered at him.

"Why?" I asked, feeling discomfort grow in my chest and my words were at the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. I had so many questions for all of them.

Why would you do things for me, Asher?

Why are you always so patient with me, so gentle?

The small things that you do, your silent gestures, the little things you say here and there confuse me. I don't know what to do about things you make me feel or how to stop myself from feeling them. Why are you so... good to me?

I lowered my bleary gaze and looked at Raven, who stared at his coffee.

Why do you care, Raven? About my dream, about me?

Yes, you have given me answers to all my questions yet... my heart wants to believe that there are other answers to these questions.

Why?

Why did you fix my glasses? Why did you bring me clothes I always desired to wear? What selfish reasons did you have behind them? And finally, I glanced at Ezra, who still peered outside.

Why do you look so hurt, Ezra? As though you can feel my pain. As if you want to do something about it. Why?

Why? Why? Just why? Why are the three of you doing this to me? Just treat me like you did before, so that I can hate you until the very end. I shut my eyes.

"Can I please... excuse myself?" I asked.

"No," Asher said. "Stay here. Stay with us."

"Please," my voice quivered.

"Stay here," Raven said in a rough tone.

"Please!" I spoke through my gritted teeth.

"Go," Ezra said, and I got up and locked myself in the washroom.

Turning on the tap in the sink, I splashed water on my face and kept splashing until I was drenched in it.

I left the tap running as I peered at myself in the mirror, breathing heavily. Tears streamed down my eyes faster than the water droplets.

Don't do this to yourself, Xanthea.

I managed my breaths. Inhaling deeply through my nose and I exhaled through my mouth.

"None of this is yours, Xanthea. Neither their attention, nor their care," I warned myself. "Don't get too greedy..."

I bit my inner lip to stop my chin from quivering.

Like Raven said, everything I received from the triplets - whether it was an opportunity to pursue my dreams or the faint whispers of my profound feelings - they could just as easily take it all back as they gave it to me. So I can't-

I shouldn't-

Oh goddess!

Clenching my mouth with my hands, I locked my cries within, bottled up my emotions, swallowed it all like a bitter concoction.

But it hurt.

I gasped.

It hurt like I was drinking molten glass and it was solidifying and clogging in my chest, shattering within me at the same time. Its shards turned into a storm, stabbing me from within, threatening to tear me apart from the inside. What should I do?

The pain in my chest traveled to my stomach. Gasping, I clenched my belly, sliding down the sink to the floor.

Mumma - I mouthed through my chattering teeth, but no sound escaped my throat.

My eyes, desperate for help, looked at the door.

I hugged myself as the sound of the running tap and water dripping down the drain and on the marble floor grew louder, drowning away the sound of my own breaths and heartbeats.

The way my senses closed up and my limbs went numb and the air suffocated my chest. I was drowning. The pain spiked inside me for a few seconds and then vanished all at once. The more I tried to hold on to myself, the more I was slipping away.

And just when I thought I had lost the grasp on myself, I felt a gentle grip around my upper arms and I was pulled against a firm body.

"Xanthea..." A faint voice echoed through me. "It's ok, angel. Everything you feel is valid, and it's not your fault in any way. It's ok." Ezra stroked my back, hugging me tightly against himself.

I felt a jolt behind my guts as I crashed back into reality.

Parting from me, Ezra cupped my face in his hands.

"You are ok, hmm?" He said, caressing my cheeks.

His warmth sent life back into my veins. I knew he meant every word he said because eyes don't lie and at that moment I could read soul.

"You don't have to be weak by holding back your emotions when you can be strong by just... letting them go," Ezra said, placing his hand right above my heart. "Feel them, let them hurt your skin, but don't let them touch your heart. Not all emotions are worth storing in your heart. Because even in hell, the heart is sacred. Your heart is sacred."

I remained in a trance with his blue eyes. He smiled, his eyes holding a glint of tears. I don't know what came over me. Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged him so tight it hurt.

I didn't know if I was falling apart in his arms or coming together. But at that moment, it just felt like it was the right thing to do, even when I knew it wasn't.

As the horrible sound of running water stopped, I was a little more aware of my uncontrollable hiccups and cracking sobs.

Ezra kept stroking my back, caressing my hair gently with his other hand as I buried my face in his chest.

Even if I were to lose this touch one day, I wanted to experience it fully right now. I had never been so vulnerable with anyone else, but somehow, this vulnerability felt like strength. I remained in his embrace for I don't know how long. Listening to his heartbeats and feeling his soft breaths brush against my hair. So this is what it felt to be embraced, to be held.

I could easily fall asleep like this and never wake up. What I experienced was a kind of peace that calmed all my chaos. And it came from a person I expected nothing but chaos. I lazily parted from him.

I widened my eyes with a quick gasp as Ezra's hands grabbed my ass. My chest collided with his as he made me straddle his hips.

"A-alpha?" I looked into his eyes, taking in a shuddering breath as I felt him grind the erection in his pants against my slit.

"Look... I know this isn't the time for it. But that ass of yours is distracting... very, very, very distracting," he said, locking his eyes with mine.

I broke into a chuckle, covering my mouth with my hand, hiding my smile.

I don't know what was funnier, the genuine look in his eyes when he confessed how distracting my ass was or the way he said it.

Ezra held my wrist and lowered it from my face. All expressions vanished from his face as he contemplated me with a warm gaze.

"Let's go shopping," he said. "But before that, let's go out, because if we don't... I don't think I'll be able to stop at dry humping when I want you wet all over me," he said.

I quickly scrambled to my feet and stood at some distance from him. Unlocking the washroom door, he walked out.

"Clean up and come out quickly. Asher's cooking tastes the best when you eat them hot. Although a lot of things taste better when they are served hot," he ogled my crotch, he could see me naked through whatever cloth I was wearing.

I felt a fiery rush between my legs at his words. Clenching my thighs together, I nibbled on my lower lip, lowering my gaze.

Ezra chuckled in his deep voice. He ran his tongue across his inner cheek with a sly smirk. "Yup, I am totally fucking you tonight." He said before leaving.

I splashed water on my face. Ezra's blue eyes constantly flashed in my mind.

I scrubbed the towel on my face, trying to hide my flushed cheeks.

I shook my head, trying to push away the obscene thoughts that were already pondering all the ways I'd feel his warmth directly on my skin... once more.