My Hockey Alpha



Chapter 0816

Had I really known him at all, I wondered? Or had I merely been too self-absorbed and naive to see past the facade of unshakable command he projected?

After a long silence, I found my voice. "Why didn't he ever tell me that?"

"He didn't want you to see his weakness, I suppose," Angelica replied with a small, sad smile. "He wanted you to respect him, look up to him, the way a daughter should see her father."

Her words stung, although I knew she didn't intend them to. The truth was, I hadn't gotten nearly enough time with my father to look up to him or see any side of him at all, really. In just a few short months, I had lost him.

A familiar ache blossomed in my chest as I contemplated just how much I had lost by his passing. How much I still didn't know, how much I might never know, about the man who had brought me into this world and the legacy I now shouldered in his wake.

My hand strayed unconsciously to the swell of my stomach as a new thought struck me. I couldn't imagine losing her for so long, just as my father had lost me. I wanted her to know me, the real me.

At least, until her eighteenth birthday when my daughter's mind was replaced with that of my twin sister. Suddenly, I was pulled out of my reverie when my mother stood and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"Get some rest, Nina," she murmured. "You've more than earned it."

I watched her go, then slowly rose myself to stretch my aching back. A walk might help clear my swirling thoughts, I figured.

My feet carried me out through the mansion's gardens, down the familiar path to the small family graveyard tucked off in the nearby forest clearing. I wasn't even fully aware that I was going there until I found myself standing in front of my family's headstones.

"Hey, Dad," I murmured, reaching out to trace the elegantly carved letters spelling out his name. "I miss you."

Sinking down on the soft grass, I hugged my knees to my chest as best I could, staring unseeingly at the words. So much I wanted to say, to ask him... and no way to do it.

"I wish we had more time together," I confessed in a small voice. "Maybe then I wouldn't feel so... fucking lost trying to fill your shoes."noveldrama

For a long stretch, I simply allowed myself to linger there, hoping against hope for some sort of sign or reassurance from beyond the veil as I had with my sister's grave during the Moon Festival. A whisper on the breeze, a flicker of starlight... anything.

But this time, there was nothing but silence and stillness all around.

Oddly, I found that comforting in its own way, even through the tears that had clouded my eyes-a gentle reminder that my father's spirit had moved on.

Perhaps that was for the best. As much as part of me might crave his counsel, if he were truly at peace, I wouldn't wish to disturb that peace for anything. He had ruled this realm, been through so much, for nearly two centuries. It was time for him to rest.

Eventually, the crunch of footsteps on the gravel path made me turn. Enzo appeared from the shadows a moment later, holding one of my cardigans in his hand. When he saw me sitting there, however, his shoulders slumped a little.

No words passed between us as he simply sank down behind me, gathering me into his solid warmth. I melted back against his chest with a contented sigh, allowing the tension to finally drain from my shoulders.

Out here, in this sanctuary with the man I loved at my side, my worries momentarily fell away. My father would understand the path that lay ahead was mine alone to walk now.

And for tonight, at least, that was enough.