Chapter 1020
Alexander suddenly let out a laugh, a weird mix of anger and helplessness.
He said, "Quinn, when did you get so cold? Even if you hate me, do you really gotta punish me like this?"
"Cold? Compared to your crap, this is nothing," Quinn shot back, pulling her hand away and looking down. "Honestly, I can't even blame you. It's all on me."
She went on, "You warned me back then. Told me not to fall for you. I didn't listen, so yeah, I deserve this. Can't blame anyone else."
At this point, she figured death would be a sweet escape.
Every time she thought about what Walter said, and how he jumped off that cliff in such disappointment, she felt like she didn't belong in this world and just wanted out.
But Alexander wouldn't let her. He used all these pricey herbs every day to keep her hanging on, stuck in this half-dead state.
"Quinn," Alexander grabbed her hand again, pulling it back. He looked at her seriously, like he wanted to say something but couldn't get it out.
Quinn stared at him, waiting forever, but he never said what he wanted to.
Finally, she broke the silence, "Alexander, no matter what you say, no matter what secrets or problems you have, it won't change a thing. What's done is done."
Alexander stayed quiet for a long time.
He finally nodded. "You're right. Nothing I say can change what happened."
Quinn's eyes flickered. "So it's still my fault."
Alexander said, "It's not your fault. It's mine."
Quinn asked, "If I never loved you, would you have let me go?"
Alexander stayed silent.
Maybe he didn't even know the answer.
Quinn looked at him, a bitter smile on her lips. "Would it have been any different?"
Before he could reply, she continued, "I never had control. Alexander, you're too selfish. Everything you did was for you."
"You said you wanted to love someone else. That's just an excuse. You could've let me go and then loved someone else, but you never tried."
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"Even if, hypothetically, you did fall for Getty, would we still be like before? Like siblings, like family? No way."
It was just because he didn't love Getty that he wouldn't let her go. If he had fallen for Getty, none of this would have happened.
Everything he did screamed one word: selfish.
He was truly selfish and greedy.
Alexander didn't argue with a single word Quinn said, proving she was right.
She smiled bitterly. "So, Alexander, how can you expect me not to hate you?"
She pressed, "Why aren't you saying anything?"
Alexander looked up and stared at her. "I got nothing to say. You're right about everything."
Quinn asked, "So this is really what you think?"
Alexander laughed at himself and replied, "Sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking. No matter how I look at it, it's a mess." He then got serious. "So yeah, I think you're right."
Abigail always said he was nuts, and sometimes he thought so too.
Others couldn't get him; he couldn't even get himself. This tangled mess stayed unresolved, so he didn't argue and couldn't argue.
Quinn didn't want to talk about it anymore. No matter what the truth was, it didn't matter now.
She said, "Alexander, you must live well."
Alexander looked a bit stunned.
Quinn smiled, thinking, 'You need to feel the loneliness, the endless waiting, and suffering, just like I did for the past seven years. You should live every moment in regret.' From his constant self-destructive behavior these past few months, Quinn saw that he, like her, was looking for a way out of this world.
But Quinn wouldn't let him have his way.