61
Nicholas
T HE DOCTOR INFORMED me that she accidentally let the cat out of the bag earlier. Selina knows who I am now; knows where she is. I was worried for her to find out the truth and the consequences thereafter; but to be honest, I feel more relieved now than anything. Yes, I wanted to tell Selina myself, but I kept delaying the inevitable. Selina saw me as some sort of monster that killed a man in front of her, and I didn’t want to confess that the boy she once cared for grew up to be that same monster.
But now that she knows, it makes all of this easier somehow. It feels like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. No more pretending. No more hiding.
Selina is in her room when I enter through the open door. The hospital bed she was in when she first arrived here was replaced with a big four-poster bed early this afternoon. And that’s where she’s currently sitting, her legs tucked under her as she quietly reads a book. She’s still wearing a gown, however, but that’s why I stop ed by – to remedy that.
Upon catching a glimpse of me, she gently sets the book down and gives me a tentative smile. I could practically cut the tension in the room with a knife, and I hate that. I hate that we’ve become like this. I wish I could rewind ten years and get a do-over. But the truth is what happened, happened. There’s no going back, and there’s no changing it. The only thing we can do now is try to push forward and look towards the future, whatever that may be for her, for me, for us. Fuck, I hope there’s an us.
“The doctor gave you the all-clear,” I tell her, setting down a bag of clothes on the edge of the bed. The clothes are plain, most of them gently used donations that we give to all the women who temporarily stay here. “It’s not much, but I’m sure you can go shopping soon,” I explain.
She opens the bag and sorts through some of the clothes before a small grin graces her pretty face. “Thank you.”
“And I brought you dessert,” I explain before setting the bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream down on the nightstand beside her.
Selina stares at it for a while before she whispers in astonishment, “You remembered.”
When her unique eyes meet mine in a stare, I quickly clear my throat. “I might have remembered you eating mint chocolate chip ice cream by the gallon back then,” I muse, my lips tilting up in a smile.
“I haven’t had it since I lived here,” she says, staring down at the bowl like it’s so much more than just ice cream.
The sadness in her voice imbeds itself deep in my bones. If she couldn’t even indulge in her favorite ice cream over the years, I wonder what else she missed out on. But before I even let myself go there and start thinking about that shit,
I throw those thoughts right out the window. I can’t dwell on that now, or I’ll ruin this moment by getting angry. I’m barely holding it together as it is. I don’t need to have a major outburst in front of Selina and scare her more than I have already.
“Well, there’s a huge container of it in the freezer. So anytime you want it, it’s yours,” I offer.
She gently grips the bowl in her delicate hands and scoops a little bit of ice cream into her mouth. She closes her eyes as she sucks on the spoon, savoring the taste before letting out a long moan of satisfaction.
Fuck. My cock twitches inside of my pants from the sound coming from her throat. Down boy, I internally tell my dick as I cross the room and sit down in a chair by the window.
As soon as I’m seated, I hear Selina say, “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you before. It’s just…you look so different. So much older. Grown up.”
“I don’t know if I would have recognized you at that party either except for -.”
“My eyes,” she guesses.
“Yep.”
“So you weren’t a hundred-percent sure who I was when you saved me from Gino?”
I shake my head. “I knew he was hurting a woman. That’s all that mattered in the moment, and that bastard deserved what he got,” I explain, my voice dangerously low.
She flinches at my harsh words, perhaps recalling that night and what I did in order to protect her. I’m not the innocent, little boy she knew back then. I’ve changed a lot over the years. I just hope we can find a kinship again like before. And I hope she can overcome her obvious fear of me.
I work my jaw from side to side before continuing with,
“I was hoping it was you after I bumped into you in the
hallway, but I wasn’t totally sure until I saw the birthmark on your neck after all was said and done.”
She absently reaches up to touch her fingertips to the heart-shaped mark. “You remembered that too, huh?” she whispers.
“I remember everything about you, Lina.”
My use of her nickname has her eyes growing wide with surprise. I’m sure she hasn’t been called that since she lived here, and it feels so damn good to be able to call her that once again.
“I tried so hard to forget you,” she confesses in a rush. “Remembering you was like the sweetest torture. You were the only good thing in my life at one point, and it was hard to relive those moments in my mind, because I knew I would probably never see you again. But sometimes you were just the saving grace I needed, the only thing that got me through some of the most horrible times in my life.”
I want to ask her where she’s been, but I know she needs to do it on her own. She doesn’t need me pressuring her to tell her story. And so I sit quietly in the chair, watching her slowly eat the ice cream and just enjoying being in the same room as her with everything out on the table and her actually sober and coherent for the first time since she arrived.
“Nico,” she says softly, and I swear my heart stops beating. I haven’t heard her say my name in ten fucking years, and it’s like a distant memory unlocks deep inside of my mind. “How did you find me?” she questions.
“Pure luck,” I confess. “When your mom took you and disappeared, we spent years trying to figure out where you went. It was like you just up and vanished. Like a ghost.” My hands ball into fists on top of my knees when I think about what her mother did. To Selina. To my family. To me.
To us.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.
“I should have told you the truth the day she came for me,” she says before setting down the now empty bowl. Just knowing she has a belly full of her favorite ice cream brings me peace in some way. “My mother had already sold me once for drugs when your family rescued me. And then…she did it again.”
“Shit,” I hiss. I mean, it was one theory I had suspected all along, but to hear the cold, hard truth coming straight from Selina’s mouth…
“She sold me to Constantine Carbone a few months after she took me from here,” she says with anguish dripping from her tone.
My world suddenly stops spinning, everything coming to an abrupt halt. I have to force my mouth to form my next words, because I’m floored with this new information. “You
were with him for the last ten years?” She nods.
Fuck. I was hoping he had just recently gotten his claws into her, for her sake. But the fact that she was with him the entire time she was missing, while she was underage, only thirteen years old, so young and innocent…it makes my fucking blood boil. I can feel the anger seeping out from every pore in my body, my muscles vibrating with unreleased fury. “That son of a bitch,” I murmur under my breath. Then, I look at her and demand, “Tell me everything.” I can’t wait a second longer. I need to know the truth. I need to know exactly what happened, so that I can scorch the earth and all that remains until I find that bastard and put him six feet under where he fucking belongs.
Selina slowly unfolds her legs and stands, turning her back on me as she begins to speak. It’s as if she doesn’t want to see my reaction to her story, and that’s fine with me. I don’t think I can hide my true feelings from her behind a poker face right now anyway. I’m only human.
“We stayed in the motel for only a few hours that night. My mother disappeared from the room, came back high as a kite and declared we were leaving just out of the blue. I tried to call you, but she pulled the phone cord out of the wall and hit me.” Her hand slides up to her cheek as if she’s remembering the pain. “Said she would kill me if I tried to contact you.” She folds her arms protectively around herself. “She took the number you gave me and flushed it down the toilet to make sure I wouldn’t have a way to reach you.”
I always wondered why Selina never called, but I never imagined her mother could be so cruel and evil. Maybe I should have known or sensed it somehow, but I was just a dumb kid back then. I was still viewing the world through rose-colored glasses, not believing in true evil until later on in life when I saw it personally after I started working for my father.
“We lived out of the car for weeks,” she continues. “My mom used all the money that your parents gave us for a little food and a lot of drugs. We couldn’t even afford to go to a hotel,” she says, shaking her head with disgust. “And then one day, while we were at a restaurant she was planning on dining and dashing at, she was watching the news on one of the TVs. Something about Constantine Carbone being acquitted of his charges and getting released from jail.” She’s pacing the floor now, and I can hear the tremor in her voice by just the mere mention of his name. “The look on my mom’s face. I’ll never forget it. She looked…relieved. Like she had just witnessed some kind of miracle.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. Fuck, her mother saw
Constantine’s release as a solution to her problems, some sort of breakthrough moment. She was willing to sell her own daughter just to get her next high. It’s fucking incredible the lengths some people will ultimately go to to get what they want, especially when they’re addicted to something.
“A few days later, she drove us back to New York City. I was so excited. I thought she had actually come to her senses and was going to let me stay with you and your family.” Her shoulders sink as she sighs deeply.
I sit back in the chair and frown. I can just imagine how excited Selina would have been, thinking she was going to see me again. Little did she know her mother’s plans for her.
Selina stops pacing and stands before me, staring at the floor, her eyes moving back and forth as if recalling a memory. “But she drove down to the docks. I was forced out of the car by two men. They roughed me up pretty bad, because I fought for my life. I didn’t want to go with them. I screamed for her to help me, but I saw the look in her eyes. I had seen it before. It was the same look she gave me the first time she sold me.”
I watch as she begins to pace again, wrapping her arms around her stomach as if the next words that are going to come out of her mouth are going to physically hurt her. My fingers dig into the fabric on the arms of the chair, bracing for the inevitable impact.
“The first time I met Constantine I knew he was the devil himself in an Armani suit. He said the sweetest things to me, called me his little pet.” She sucks in a sharp intake of air as if it hurts to breathe. “He took my virginity by force that night. It was the worst day of my life. I just remember the pain…and the blood. So much blood,” she whispers.
My entire body vibrates with an overwhelming sense of anger and disgust. I’ve never felt like this before. I want to yell. I want to scream. I want to go find Constantine and rip his fucking head off with my bare hands.
But I force myself to remain c lm, for Selina’s sake. I make myself stay in my seat and not act out even if it’s going against every fiber of my fucking being right now. She’s not even done with her story. I can tell she has more to talk about, and I have to let her continue. I owe her that much at least. The emotional dam has burst, and she’s pouring her soul out to me. The best thing I can do is sit and listen to her as she gets it all out.
“We lived on his yacht in the middle of the ocean nine months out of the year. Sometimes we would dock in Italy or Spain and spend a few weeks on land. But he rarely returned to the United States. I know he was afraid of being caught again, of going to jail. That’s his biggest fear.” She goes to the bed and sits down, and I can tell that she’s physically and mentally drained from telling her story. “I was with Gino that night. Constantine rarely let me leave the yacht, but Gino begged his father to let him have me for the night.” She visibly tenses. “He was just like his father.” A shiver runs through her. “I’m glad he’s dead.”
The room is silent for a few minutes, and I know that it’s my turn to speak. My turn to tell her everything I’ve been dying to say for the past ten years. “We never stopped looking for you, Lina. The fucked-up thing is the fact that we couldn’t find Constantine, and we were searching for him as well. If we would have found him, we would have found you. But he took every painstaking effort to not get caught again. And in doing that, he actually kept you hidden from us.”
Her gaze meets mine. “I always wondered if you were searching for me. Sometimes, at night, I would look up at the moon, wondering if you were staring up at it as well. I always wished that you were safe…and happy. Even if I wasn’t either of those things,” she confesses in a soft tone.
Leaning up in the chair, I rest my elbows on my knees as I look at her and say, “We did everything we could to try to get you back. I want you to know that.”
She nods slowly, taking in nd processing all the information I’m giving her. I just hope she believes it.
Releasing a sigh, she looks up at the ceiling and says, “I just wish I could have gotten away from him sooner. I wish I would have been stronger.”
I scoff at her words. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
She turns her gaze back to me. “I don’t know if I believe that,” she says, her voice wavering with soul-breaking disbelief.
“Maybe not yet, but you will,” I vow. She survived unspeakable hell and came through the other side. She’s so much stronger than she gives herself credit for, and I will remind her of it every damn day if I have to. Her captor didn’t break her. And he sure as hell didn’t take away the fun, loveable girl I fell for ten years ago. I know she’s still in there somewhere, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to just let her go. Together, we will get her back.
“I’m going to let you get some sleep,” I tell her as I stand up from the chair. It’s probably going to have permanent imprints from my fingertips gripping it so damn hard.
Keeping my voice calm and level, I say, “Goodnight, Lina.” My entire body is vibrating with pent-up frustration. Fuck, I’m going to have to get a late-night session in at the gym to get my frustrations out. I need to get rid of this rage before it ultimately consumes me.
“Goodnight, Nico,” she whispers.
I leave her room, feeling like some progress was made instead of taking another ten steps back, like before. And as I’m walking to the gym, a thought suddenly occurs to me. All this time we’ve been trying to get close to Constantine, but Selina may just be the missing piece we’ve needed all along. She knows where he regularly docks his yacht and maybe even some secret locations we know nothing about.
Selina could be the key to fin lly taking that bastard down for good.