Back To School
Two agonizing weeks had passed, with no one to talk to except my parents. I had initially thought I would lose my damn mind, but turns out I’m made of sterner stuff. This morning, my mother made sure I had the pleasure of going through a fresh set of rules, each one screaming a single message.
“Stay away from Rune.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
My father, on the other hand, had been a tad less confrontational, probably because he’d been distant lately. The thought that I was the cause of his sleepless nights, his haunted wanderings through the castle, weighed heavily on me. So I made a promise to him-I would follow their rules, after tonight, depending on how well it turns out. I didn’t add the last part though. Though, it might prove to be a tad difficult, to speak to Rune. Father had guards escorting me back to school. I couldn’t be more embarrassed and self-conscious. I’m not even sure that is allowed, but somehow, telling Vesper that they would keep me in check and join the sentinels was enough to sell the idea.
But I will find a way around them, because I will talk to Rune tonight. I must.
“I do hope you have reflected on your mistakes and learned from them,” Vesper says and I merely mirror his blank stare. “Be good, Blackwood. I would hate to have to send you home again.”
He plucks my phone and tablet from one of his countless drawers and plonks them on the table between us. “I would suggest you try catching up. You’ve missed a lot of classes. The break next week should give you enough time.”
*No thanks to you*, I don’t say as I pick up my tablet and start to head to the door, but I pause when his words sink in.
I turn slightly, frowning. “Break? We get breaks from school?”
Vesper peers up from his screen. “Not usually, but the Prince’s Mating Ceremony is a grand affair, and while the academic session is still on, we must still pay our respects in attendance.”
Vesper’s words hit me like a thunderclap, shattering whatever semblance of control I have managed to garner over my feelings in the past few days. My breath catches in my chest, the air heavy with with disbelief.
Rune’s Mating Ceremony? How could he? The words echo in my mind, my heart, even when I know I have no right to expect anything from him.
He’d said he would come for me.
I hadn’t realized how much I wanted him to. How much of myself and my feelings I have given away to this… bond.
Pain claws at me, twisting and turning like a dagger in my heart and a sharp breath escapes me as I clutch my chest hard.
I can’t fucking breathe. It hurts so. Sloan’s whining and I feel claws ripping my insides apart. My knees buckle and I clutch the edge of the table before I can fall.
“Blackwood, are you alright?” I vaguely hear Vesper say, but my world is beginning to blur, the colours fading to grey, mirroring the desolation within me.
The ground under my feet begins to crumble–but that can’t be right. It’s hard concrete and… I shake my head vigorously, trying to clear my vision, but that hardly helps because the pain is coming from my heart. No. Not there. It way deeper than that.
It goes all the way down to the place Sloan resides in me and I growl when it starts to burn.
Shit, I’m going to pass out, I think as my hand slips from the table’s edge and I fall. So much for saying I didn’t care if they had white-haired babies with Gin’s beautiful stupid eyes.
Now, they’re really going to have children with Gin’s eyes and I’m going to spend the rest of my life with this hurt that’s greater than anything I have ever felt–ah fuck.
I pass out.
**********
“An entrance that was.”
Squinting at the brightness in the room, my head tilts right. Golden eyes filled with worry meet mine and I croak, “Hey Dar.”
So. . . I might be the only woman in the history of relationships who forgot all about her boyfriend on a two week holiday-suspension, although that is scarcely my fault. The past few days have been an absolute whirlwind, and I did miss him. To some extent, at least. Penning him a letter had briefly crossed my mind, but I had discarded the idea, knowing full well that my mother would likely have my head if she knew I was kissing a lycan.
He settles beside me on the bed, his arms enveloping me, lifting me from the soft pillows and drawing me close to his chest. “With you, it feels like I can’t catch a break. One moment, I’m told you’re back, and the next, you’re in the infirmary.”
I wrapped my arms around his torso, burying my face in his chest to hide the tears that threatened to escape. “Sorry.”
His fingers gently tangle in my hair, and I lean into the soothing rhythm of his strong heartbeat as he whispers, “I missed you, princess. This place was a ghost-town without you.”
I say nothing in turn, unable to think of what to say. I do not feel physical pain anymore but I feel my chest caving in. I just want to pause and cry until I can’t anymore.
Fuck Rune. Fuck Hekate. I want to go home and hug my Father. Maybe get drunk and high with my friends. It’s my prescription for broken hearts.
Just ensure never to come down from that high, or it’ll hit you right back, with an even stronger force.
A few minutes later, the nurse releases me, assuring Darian that I am perfectly fine and that she couldn’t explain my fainting episode. Darian doesn’t pry, and I don’t offer any explanation. It is best for him not to know that his girlfriend collapsed because of another male.
Banners adorned the hallway, proudly announcing the king and queen of the upcoming ball, with Rune and Ginevra’s portraits displayed prominently. My heart squeezes painfully at the sight, and I quickly avert my gaze, clutching Darian’s arm tightly as he leads me to my room, guards trailing behind us solemnly.
It’s a weird sight, but I’m too weary to think about it.
“Want me to come in?” Darian offers as I step into my room. The air is infused with the scent of fresh flowers, along with a faint fragrance that I would recognize anywhere. I think I may be hallucinating, because it’s the only reason I’d pick up Rune’s scent in my room.
Leaning against the door frame, I shake my head. “I’ll come see you later, Dar. I feel a little faint. Need to rest my head for a bit.”
“I can stay while you rest–”
I lean in and press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Dar, but I just need a moment. I’ll come see you later. I promise.”
As I pull away, disappointment flickers in his bright gaze, but he managed a small smile before nodding and leaving.
Closing the door behind me, I lean against it, letting out a sigh as I clench my fists. Tears well up in my eyes, and I hastily wipe them away.
But they won’t stop flowing.
Sliding down the door, I hug my knees, silently sobbing with trembling shoulders.
I don’t cry often. I look terrible when I do, but I can’t help myself. Confusion gnaws at me, leaving me at a loss for what to do next. The pain is so intense that I can’t even feel Sloan anymore. In the space where she should have been, there is only agony.
And I know she is hurting too. Perhaps even more than I am, but we share in the pain.
And I know she’s hurt too. Perhaps more than I am, but we share in it.
I can’t live like this. I have to see Rune. Plead with him if necessary, to find a way to bring an end to this tangled mess between us.