Chapter seventy-one (The locked up pains)
Ashley
We arrived at Sebastian’s house, and I took a slow look around. The small two-bedroom apartment surprised me; it seemed rather simple considering the Albrecht family’s status.
“I know you must be wondering why I reside here instead of a grand, lavish mansion,” he chuckled, strolling towards his refrigerator.
“M… mmm,” I hummed, trying not to come out rude.
“Let’s just say I’m all about that low-key life, I prefer to keep things private,” he shrugged, pulling out two Margarita cans from his fridge.
“Mm… yeah,” I scratched my neck, flashing an awkward smile to lighten the tension. He should’ve offered me a ride back, but honestly, I felt like I needed to cool my head before dealing with the beast waiting for me at home.
I suggested a club but he refused, worried about bumping into the wrong person there and then again he doesn’t want to get on Damien’s bad side anymore. So left with no choice, we ended up here.
“Drinks,” he grinned, lifting the two cans. I smiled back, nodding as I made my way over to sit beside him on the couch.
This ain’t our first conversation, but I still feel a bit awkward around him.
Cracking open the can, he took a sip, leaning back on the couch. “So, you never spilled why you were stuck on the roadside,”
“You’ve asked me that like seven times already,” I chuckled.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.
“Oh,” he sounds embarrassed, and we both burst into laughter. But then, the smile faded from my face, almost as if he noticed it right away. He turned around and remarked, “You seem to have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?”
I turned to look at him and noticed that the grin had vanished from his face. His expression now held genuine concern, which oddly eased me a bit.
“Are you always this cheerful?” I inquired, but he simply grinned and laughed it off.
“I wish I could be carefree like you, just laughing…” I trailed off, taking a deep breath as I gazed at the can of drink in my hand. “Smiling, without worrying about the things happening around me,”
And just then I felt a sudden hush fall between us before he sighed, saying, “Sometimes, smiles are worn to hide the pain inside.”
I raised my head and looked towards him, “Not for someone like you, Sabastian,” I shook my head in disapproval. “You can never understand,” I smiled painfully, opening the can in anger, and taking a big gulp.
The bitterness rushed down my throat, making my face twitch up in disgust. “Ah… Ah,” I shook my head, but there was no response from him. The air around us felt a bit uneasy yet strangely comforting.
Sniffing, I released a weary sigh. “I went to see my ex today,” I shared, which instantly caught his attention and he immediately turned to look at me. “Does Damien know?”
Shaking my head, I sighed, “Not really… I ran into him today, and unfortunately, my dad was admitted to his hospital.”
“Oh,” that was all he managed to say. “Do you still miss him?” He glanced at me.
Do I still miss him? Oh no, but I feel terrible… I feel horrible that what we once shared was destroyed because of my stupidity and carelessness. I owe him so much for breaking him this much.
“The feelings just aren’t there anymore. I find myself more uncomfortable around him, which is quite surprising,” I admitted guilt, stealing a glance at those inquisitive eyes fixed on me. “You know, we both went to grab a cup of coffee today,” I sadly smiled, averting my gaze.
“So you don’t love him anymore?” He asked, but I just shrugged. “So, is that why you were standing by a coffee shop along the road?” I smiled and nodded in response.
Nodding, as if a realization dawned on him, he furrowed his brow at me. “But I didn’t spot him there,”
“He has an emergency and left earlier before me,”
“Ah, I see,” he rubbed his jaw thoughtfully in agreement, pausing to take another long sip from his drink before fixing his gaze back on me. “Does he know that the feelings have faded?”
Immediately the question slipped out of his lips, I paused, my mind wandering around in thoughts. Does he know? He seemed so excited to be around me but then…… I release a heavy sigh. “I hurt him, Sebastian,” I whispered, tears finally escaping as memories flooded my mind.
That night in the hotel room, the night that shattered everything I had worked so hard for. The night that continues to haunt me to this day, tearing me apart piece by piece.
He doesn’t deserve a sh*t like me. He deserves to be happy and I am not just the right person to give him that.
“I owe him,” I said with a bitter smile, using the back of my hand to wipe away the tears as I continued to drink. I gulped down the drink painfully, can after can, not even caring that it was alcohol. The bitterness in my heart far outweighed the bitterness of the drink.
“Stop,” Sebastian quickly grabbed the drink from my hand. “This drink is very strong.”
“I am here to clear my mind, please,” I shot him a pleading glare.
“Damien will be angry,” he shakes his head at me. Looking at him, I couldn’t resist and burst into mocking laughter, leaving him utterly confused.
The alcohol is starting to affect me gradually. I can sense the pounding in my head intensifying. The alcohol effect in my system urging me to reveal the pains I’ve concealed within me for months.
“You’re so worried about a man who doesn’t give a damn about me,” I chuckled bitterly before yelling in his face. “He doesn’t give a damn about me! He doesn’t!!”
“No. No,” he shakes his head, placing the canned drink on the ground. “I don’t believe that,” he quickly retorts.
Really?
But instead, I smiled, nodding my head at him in disappointment. My eyes were glassy, pain evident on my face. “You know what,” I turned to look at him, swallowing hard. “I’ve always admired him, he was my top celebrity crush. Despite what people say about him, his family’s rivalry with my father, I’ve always seen him differently.” My voice cracked at the end and I sniffed, biting my lips to control my tears.
“You were his top fan,” he chuckled, grinning at me, which caught me off guard. “You were following him on all his social media accounts,” he added.
“How did you know?” I gave him a suspicious look. “Tell me the truth,” I demanded.
“Alright, you want me to be honest,” I nodded at him. “Have you heard of Cipher?”
My brow furrowed in confusion; that name rings a bell. It’s like I’ve heard it from Damien before, but I’m not entirely certain.
“No, what’s that?” I asked, looking at him. My face filled with confusion.
Cipher? What’s that?
With a sigh, he moved closer to me, leaving a slight gap between us. “Forget about that, but understand that Damien cares about you,”
I whipped my head towards him, but I just burst out laughing.”Nope, he really doesn’t,”
“You love him?”
Immediately I stopped laughing and froze. His words stirred something unusual within me. Do I love him? This question has been lingering in my mind lately. The memories we’ve created rush back to me vividly. Despite his flaws of arrogance, self-centeredness, manipulation, and brutality, one thing remains certain – I’ve become deeply attached to him. So attached that all I crave is to be by his side constantly.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling at the moment,” I responded. He nodded, looking at me, then leaned back on the couch.
“This minute he’s fine, but the next minute he turns into an uncontrollable monster,” I said, tears streaming down my face as I glanced at him. “I just want to escape, away from all this pain.”
Sebastian sighed, downing his drink, his expression genuinely concerned as he met my gaze. “I wish he had known you before Zuri. The truth is, Damien was not like this before,”
“Zuri?” I grinned bitterly, remembering his reaction when his mother brought up the name during dinner. “So tell me, what happened?
“Is a long story,”
“Then make it short, Sebastian. I’m losing it bit by bit as time ticks on.”
He hesitated before finally releasing a sigh, “Fine.”