Be My Mate

Chapter 5- Forced To Love You

Sabrina's POV

A few days have gone by and I've kept myself busy with planning the ball plus training. Xander asked for some time alone, to think and clear his head...

I don't agree with the time apart but I'll give him whatever he wants. I can't force him to do anything he isn't comfortable with but I miss him so much.

"Then go see him..." My mother says walking in my room.

"Get out of my head mother." I say in annoyance and she just ignores me.

"Are you ready for your father and daughter dance?" She asks me and I nod my head yes. Hunter and I are finally in a good place so I am actually looking forward to share a dance with him.

"I just wish I could be more excited about the night. This will probably be the biggest night of my life and I won't be able to enjoy it with Xander." I say as a wave of sadness washes over me.

"Was it easy? To leave dad behind with all of us?" I ask looking straight in to my mother's eyes.

"No. It wasn't." She responds.

"My situation is different little moon. I left Christopher to go back to my true mate. You are choosing your chosen mate over your true mate." She says to me and I mentally groan.

"I know he's my true mate, I feel it. I feel the pull but I've gotten so used to fighting it that I'm willing to keep going at it if it means I get to stay with Xander." I say.

"So you're saying you would rather go through so much pain just to stay with Xander? Does he know what you are going through?" She asks and I shake my head no.

"I don't even know what I'm going through. One day my head wants to explode with constant thoughts of him, yearning for him. Some other days my heart breaks over and over again just being far from him but my love for Xander heals my aches and pains." I say and mother let's out a sigh.

"Sabrina, you are using Xander as a bandaid for your glass heart. The pieces will always remain broken and even if you put it together, you won't heal. You will never heal until you are with your true mate. It is actually unfair to Xander, as he is giving you all of him and he's really not getting much of you." Mother says to me.

"That's not true!" I shout out and my mother brushes my arm.

"Sabrina, you belong to someone else. He knows it and it's about time you accepted it. You tried it your way and even though you're the moon goddess, there are some things you just can't control." She tells me and tears prick my eyes.

"You are forcing yourself to love him Sabrina. There's nothing good about that..." Mother says to me and the tears fall down my face.

"Then what do I do?" I ask and she smiles at me.

"Give him a second chance mate. Find him a woman that deserves him and one that will make him happy." She says to me and I pull away from my mother, standing up.

"I will not be doing that." I say. This woman was clearly out of her mind!

"So you're just going to leave him? Leave him to die without an heir? Don't be selfish! Put on your big girl panties and do right by that man, he deserves that." Mother says to me.

I fall back on my chair, shame taking over me.

"I hate him." I say. Thinking of Aiden and his pretty face.

"You want to hate him. It's time you admitted your feelings for him, to yourself. There's no need to fight them anymore Sabrina.." Mother tells me as she walks away from me, stopping at my door.

"Aiden is a good kid, don't force yourself to hate him. He doesn't deserve that either because he did not choose you, fate did." She says to me before leaving me to my thoughts.

Aiden.

Just the mere thought of him makes me giddy and I hate it!

'She's right you know. I stood by you when you decided to choose Xander but we can't let him die. Give him the love he deserves before someone kills him and we both know he will let them just to escape the misery of losing you...' Athena says to me and I groan out loud.

I stomp my way out of my office and out of the castle, leaving for earth. To look in to Xander's eyes one last time and tell him how I really feel. I want to feel his arms around me one last time.

Arriving at the arena, I notice Xander's door was broken and I rush in to see two bodies fighting.

Pulling them apart by throwing the stranger on top of Xander, who felt strangely too strong for an earthling and then it hit me, the attacks have started.

Athena releases her power before wrapping her hand around his neck.

Hitting his head on the wall and again, hitting his head on the wall as he suffocates, clawing at my hand to let him go.

"Sabrina, stop." Xander says and I drop the stranger running to Xander's aid.

I heal him immediately without thinking. Not paying attention that the stranger had long run off without asking him any questions.

"It's started..." I say to myself but out loud. Xander looks at me in confusion.

"What's started?" He asks.

"The attacks on your life." I say cupping his face with my one hand. I knew now that my mother was right and I have to do right by Xander.

If he dies now, he will leave the pack with no alpha, no heir. Adrastos might take over but he's part of the first family and goddess knows what's in store for him.

I help Xander up before stepping back from him. I need to look at him, in all his shirtless glory one last time.

A knock interrupts my perverted mind, snapping me out of it.

"I know you need to go out there now but please don't die on me. Just give me one more night with you, one last night in your arms and then you can let me go. I can't force you to go against everything you believe in and being with you is putting your life in danger so please just give me one more day okay?" I ask looking in to his eyes.

He takes a moment, looking at me with so much love my knees wanted to give out. I walk up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a very passionate kiss.

He returns it as our tongues wrestle. Another knock has us pulling away from each other.

"Tonight." He says to me in a low growly voice that sets my body on fire. I let him go as he walks out and the tears prick my eyes again.

Life as I once knew it, was coming to an end and I'm far from ready to let it all go.

I summon my two wolves who appear out of nowhere.

"I need you two to protect Xander against all werewolves from the heavenly realm. If anyone tries to kill him, you do whatever it takes to save him." I order them and they walk away from me, making their way to Xander.

I walk out of Xander's room to bump in to Aiden, who pulls my hand and drags me back into Xander's room.

"What the fuck?" I ask in an annoyed tone.

"I can't do this anymore Sabrina. I can't sit by and allow any of this to go on." He says to me and I chuckle.

"You think I want this? I want none of this!" I scream out loud.

"You don't get it Sabrina. I'm haunted by you, I feel my insides burn for you and I can't seem to switch it off. I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to fight but I'm not strong enough to keep the fire from consuming me. You are mine." He says to me.

I gently grab his hand as a tear falls on my face.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you. Hurting you was not the end goal. I'm working on it okay?" I say.

"You're mine." He says again and I nod my head yes.

"I am but I can't be with you until I can guarantee Xander's life and find him a mate. Give me today to fix this okay?" I ask and he nods, pulling me to him as he wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead.

All of today's worries, the burdens ease off me in his arms.

"I know this is hard for you Sabrina but I promise we will be happy together." He says as I pull away from him and the guilt takes over me for being in Xander's room with my true mate.

"We need to get out of here." I say and he nods his head in agreement. I walk the opposite direction of him without saying goodbye, disappearing off back to the castle to find Evan, who is already waiting for me.

"I need to find Xander a mate." I say and he nods his head as we walk together to my office.

We spend hours looking through unmated shewolves and none seem to be good enough for my Xander.

"If I may, Your Serene Highness, you need to look at this as the moon goddess and not as his chosen mate." He says to me and I look away from him, ashamed.

This was going to be a long day.

After a few more hours we decide on a girl that seems perfect for him. From an alpha bloodline and her mate died when he was a kid from a vampire attack.

How fitting.

"She's perfect. She should be at the arena to cheer on her brother, they will meet tomorrow after the final fight." I say and Evan looks at me funny.

"She's there right now watching Xander fight, it only makes sense." He says but I refuse. Tonight I will spend the night with Xander.

One last time.

"Tomorrow and that's my final decision." I say before putting it in motion.

I touch my mark as it tingles.

"What about his mark? Mine?" I ask and Evan smiles.

"You've already put it in motion as the moon goddess. The mark will have faded by the time he meets her." Evan tells me.

Sadness washes over me as I look out the window, looking as the sun sets creating an orange tint to the sky. Evan walks out, getting the message to leave me alone.

Tomorrow I'll have to just act like we never were an item. He will meet her and forget all about me or maybe not.

He will be shocked and possibly mad at me for taking away his choice to die if he can't be with me. He will be upset, upset that he won't be able to fight the pull and that I'm forcing sacred law on him as the moon goddess but it's the only way to keep him alive.

If I can't have him, if being with me will cost him his life then I can't go on with him.

Mother hugs me from behind. Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

"You did the right thing little moon." She says and the water works begin.

"It doesn't feel like it. Why doesn't it feel like it?" I ask turning around so I can cry on my mother's shoulder.

She rubs my back to soothe my pain but it doesn't help.

"I know I also have a mate waiting on me but this feels so wrong. Xander was the love I know I deserved and needed. We work well together and now it will all be for nothing. You say I was forcing myself to love him but I'm forcing myself to let him go. I love that man, I want and need that man in my

life! I miss him already and it's torture, absolute torture knowing I'm throwing his heart in someone else's hands. His heart belongs to me and my heart...my heart..." I try to say through sobs.

"Your heart is not his Sabrina. Let him go." She says and I pull away from her.

"I just did! I just threw him in bed with someone else. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Red Creek and pack up my belongings." I say but mother grabs my hand.

"Evan is on it. Take it easy tonight." She says and I nod in agreement. She let's me go and I make my way out of my office and back to Xander's room at the arena.

Tonight I will hold him and show him the love I have for him. I will prove to him that I will always love him, no matter what tomorrow holds, he will remain in my heart. Tonight I can be selfish one last time, make him mine one last time.

First, I need to get rid of Aiden's scent....