A Girl in My Life

During the way to the lord’s palace, I kept thinking all the time about Elisa, she has become a beautiful woman, her mother’s Persian being that piece of trash, the features inherited in Elisa are delicate and beautiful.

“I wonder what her smile is like these days? I wonder if it is still as beautiful as it was when she was a baby?” – she smiled at that thought.

– The girl has grown up – I hear the gentleman’s voice in my subconscious, he already knows what happened.

I am in a way, a bit scared. I have never in my life broken rules…. Right… I’ve gone against your wishes… But I’ve never actually broken any rules.

“I hope I’m not chipped!” – I think and sigh.

Despite not being allowed to use the portal like Coach Suriel does, I have some advantages, I can read things just by touching, well… All angels can do that, but I’m glad I can too, thanks to that I could know everything that was happening from her point of view… She had such a cruel childhood… Her mother is much worse than trash! She received pension and gave nothing to the girl, just used the money for herself and now without her husband always did whatever she wanted with the poor girl. Although Elisa’s mother could afford it, she preferred to leave the girl living like a beggar needing the compassion of other people.

My heart hurt to see all the suffering that she went through, surely her father must suffer so much in the other universe, despite being in paradise, her most precious asset is on earth and was being mistreated. I hold myself not to feel anger also from my substitute, he could have avoided some situations… But he did nothing! He just watched! I take a deep breath again, I need to control myself… I don’t want to get my wings black.

I could not see his growth… I could not be at your side…. I failed as her angel… And now she’s a woman, a beautiful woman, I’ve never seen beauty more radiant than this girl, even paradise is on the slippery slope when compared to her, so perfect.

When I least expect it I am in front of the palace of the Lord, the official guardian angels open the big golden gate and we enter. We follow the white stairs and corridors in gold and silver details, the precious stones also adorned.

I feel my heart beating faster, I press one hand to the other and hold my breath as I reach the front of his office.

– You may come in! – he says softly.

Suriel opens the gold-plated wooden doors and gives me space. I enter and the gentleman is looking at me, I lower my head and hear the door close behind me. I feel my fingers freezing, my body is tense, I hope that my mistake doesn’t le…

– Anael couldn’t control himself to see his protégé being verbally attacked by his mother and ended up showing his presence and Elisa saw him – amazing how Suriel speaks exactly what happened, without favoring any of the sides.

Even ashamed, I raise my head and see the lord smiling, “why is he smiling? I broke his rule!” – I ask myself and hope I am not frowning.

– Today it will be her graduation, Anael, she despite all that she has lived she managed to graduate from high school and with the collaboration of the people who sympathized with her, she will be able to go to the graduation like all the others – as soon as he finishes speaking I cannot hide my smile of joy and satisfaction, how proud of my girl!

I wish I could go and see her… At least at this moment I wanted to be by her side, celebrating her conquest.

– You have permission to go Anael, don’t worry, I know exactly how you feel, my son – she speaks and my heart jumps for joy, I feel kind of anxious to go back there and see her in her moment.

– Thank you sir…. Thank you very much – even if I said a thousand thanks it wouldn’t be enough to show my gratitude.

– You better hurry up, otherwise you will miss the time – he says smiling – Take him Suriel, if you don’t want to watch you can come back.

That said he turns his attention to the papers on his desk.

I look at Suriel and he also smiles at me, the gentleman snaps his fingers and both Suriel and I are already in front of the portal. We cross over and stop at the graduation ceremony.

I look at everything around me, the walls are of grey colours, there are blue curtains all over the walls, in front there is a stage, several chairs. I look to the side where the graduates are and I realize that everyone has a date (either the mother or the father on the side) but my poor Elisa has no one. That makes me sad.

A music starts to play, the parallel conversations stop, all the trainees start walking in a unanimous way. I observe Elisa walking on her stretcher, she looks so beautiful, she is dressed in a blue dress with thin straps, its length is long and goes down to her feet. Her hair is loose and cascades down her back, her wavy brown strands are so perfect. I can’t take my eyes off her. I go to the front of the audience and watch the whole thing.

[Elisa’s Vision]

Flashes of the countless cameras make me blink my eyes, after much struggle I finally manage to graduate from high school, and thanks to heaven I already have my place in college guaranteed.

It makes me sad to see all my colleagues hugging their families, laughing and celebrating together their achievements, I wish I had my father here with me, I know I live only one year with him, and even though it seems impossible, I have memories with him, and in all of them he smiles at me, I feel his love I also have very vague memories of another man, I don’t know who he is, I only saw him once, but I remember that his hair is black and his eyes were the colour brown, but I feel somehow that this was not the real colour. I wonder if he was wearing a lens. – I sigh and let my shoulders slump defeated, I always wondered who he was but I never saw him again unfortunately.

I sigh defeated once again, my mother didn’t want to come…. I feel lonely, she never showed any love for me…. It wouldn’t be any different now.

I am the last in line, but that doesn’t matter, at the time of the call it will be made in alphabetical order and I am the fifth in the order.

I sit on my chair and wait my name to be called patiently, I watch the father or mother give the diploma to the graduate and I feel my heart sad? My turn arrives, I take my diploma, unfortunately I don’t have anyone special to give me and wish me congratulations, two teachers hug me, but I know that this is only a way to console me, smiled anyway. I walk off the stage, when it is time to go down the stairs I have a little difficulty because of the crutch, but I manage to go down without rolling down the stairs.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

In elementary school as well as in high school I always suffered bullying. “Ah, the defective one” – the children used to say when I entered the classroom with my crutch. “I don’t want to make a team with that missing leg, she’s sure to want to lean on it and make excuses not to do anything and get free points” – I always heard jokes like that in high school.

This morning, unfortunately, my mother treated me no differently, she was rude and hostile, she didn’t congratulate me or anything, her lines this morning were exactly:

– As soon as you turn eighteen I want you out of this house! – I could feel the hatred in every word.

Next year when I’ll be of age, the pension will be deposited directly into my account, because I’ve started college, otherwise I would have finished this year. Your words hurt me, but I stopped giving so much importance, I know that I will never have your love and I’m tired of trying to conquer it. With this money I won’t have to look for a job while I go to college, then I can do my treatment and walk without the help of this crutch.

I take a deep breath, I wish I could celebrate and go somewhere to eat, but besides not having anyone, I have no money. Very slowly I walk to a square, it is exactly ten o’clock at night, it is very empty, I don’t feel afraid, nobody wants to get close to a defective person like me. I sit on one of the benches, I look at my diploma in my hands and my best companions again appear and overflow in my eyes.

The wind blows cold, I didn’t bring any coat, I hug myself in my own arms and collapse some more in tears.

– It hurts me so much to be just scorned I have no one to look at me with love, all I see in the eyes of good people is just pity…. And I hate that… It’s so bad not being able to help anyone and always depend on the help of strangers, not having anyone even to talk… To get it off my chest… I feel so tired, the weight on my back is so big… – I tighten even more feeling so helpless, the tears fall so painful – I wanted so much to know how is to be embraced… To receive affection, I wanted so much to see him again…

I feel strong arms surround me, I feel tears that are not mine fall warm on my shoulder, I hold my breath and slowly look away.