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“It’s alright,” Julian said, “I understand… but I still miss you. I came to take you out for lunch. At least we can have some minutes to be together. What do you say, I have a really nice place in mind and I’m sure you will love the food there”
He stood up from the desk, expecting Nina to do the same, but when she remained seated he frowned. He knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth. Another excuse.
“Damn it, Nina” he swore, you are really going to tell me you’re too busy to have lunch with me too?”
“I’m sorry, Julian, but I have a lot of do and time is running out. We can do this some other time”
Julian ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. The office suddenly became too hot for him and she watched as he unbuttoned the sleeves of his shirt and folded them. “And how many times have you told me that, huh?”
Nina couldn’t reply. She knew that he was right, but she couldn’t help the situation and really wished that he would understand.
“I’ll come over to your place tonight” she said quickly as she stood up. She reached for him. “We can spend the night together.”Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
Julian moved away from her touch. “You mean you’ll come over very late at night…. It’s something you picked up lately too. You come back late, exhausted from working that we barely say a word to each other… you fall asleep, only to wake up very early again… go to work… and the same thing happens again. Over and over.”
Nina was getting fed up.” I told you I’m busy,” she snapped at him.” Why don’t you want to understand that? ”
“Because people make out time for the people they want, damn it” Julian snapped back. “I’m tired of this damn thing… you are working too damn hard Nina, and have you forgotten that you’re pregnant? You’re carrying a baby so would it be so bad if you let yourself rest for a while”.
“Oh I haven’t forgotten my situation,” Nina shot back, “How could I? It’s one of the reasons why I’m trying to get as much work as I can now. Soon I won’t be able to work as much.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can take care of you and the baby”
It’s not just about money, Julian. You have no idea how much of my life is going to change because of this pregnancy…. I don’t have to remind you that I never planned to be a mother at this point in my life, so yes I do remember that I’m pregnant. I remember it every damn morning when I wake up, so thanks for your concern. ”
She went back to her seat and reopened the laptop, wishing he’d just go away. She didn’t want to fight him. She hated fighting with him. Their last fight had almost broken her and she didn’t want a repeat, but to her dismay, he didn’t leave.
“You sound like you regret getting pregnant,” he said.
“I do not. Please don’t put words in my mouth”
Julian stared at her for a moment. He was worried about her behavior… was this really just about work, or was she really regretting getting pregnant and keeping the baby? Was she tired of their relationship already? Did she regret agreeing to marry him? He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering. Lately she seemed so into work and barely spoke about getting married or fixing a date for the wedding as most women would be. Even his mother asked about the wedding more than she did. The questions had been on his mind for a while now, and since they were already talking, he decided to bring it up.
“Do you still want to get married?” he asked softly. He dreaded her reply. If she said no….
She lifted her head to stare at him. Her eyes widened. “Why the hell did you ask me that?” she asked
“Just answer the question.”
“Of course I still want to get married. Where is this coming from?”
“Oh please don’t ask me questions like that like I’m stupid” Julian said as he paced the office. “You don’t even seem thrilled about it anymore. I’m surprised you’re still wearing my ring in fact. You barely bring it up, and when I do it’s like you’re in a hurry to change the subject. We haven’t picked a date yet and nothing has changed since we got engaged. You don’t seem concerned about that…It’s almost like we are not moving forward.”
Nina looked confused.”You are confusing me, Julian” she said, “We are having a baby. We are engaged… How are we not moving forward? You just concluded that because we haven’t picked a date for our wedding?”
Julian sighed and ran his hands through his hair again. He didn’t seem to care that he was messing it up even if he had to go back to his office. “After we got engaged” he began. “We agreed that you would move in with me. We agreed that it would help with our situation with the baby… and oh, because married people live together damn it… why hasn’t that happened? And why do you seem so… nonchalant about it?”
Nina stood from her chair once again and walked up to him. She stabbed one manicured finger in his chest as she glared angrily at him. “You are looking for a fight where there is none, Julian. I’ve not moved in because I’ve been busy, and I didn’t think it was such a big deal since I practically spend almost every night at your place now.”
“You coming around every night and leaving the next day isn’t moving in together, Nina” Julian snapped back. “You’re not a booty call or some woman I’m sleeping with. You’re supposed to be my wife.”
Nina looked away. “I don’t know what else to say to you, Julian”
There was an awkward pause before he added, “…. And the wedding? Why haven’t we talked about that either?… and just be straight forward so I can attempt to understand this situation because I’m lost and tired of assuming”
Nina couldn’t bring herself to look at him, so she focused on keeping her gaze outside the window. “Honestly…. It’s because I don’t know if I want to get married right now”